| 00:01:11 | Know, I'm really glad we finally decided
yeah, this trip is way overdue.
|
| 00:01:15 | I just can't wait to see all those crunchy
flakes in action.
|
| 00:01:17 | ™
of raisins in some boxes.
|
| 00:01:21 | You know what will really get us in the spirit?
|
| 00:01:22 | ♪ 99 Boxes of raisin bran crunch ♪
|
| 00:01:25 | ♪ if you're nice to me I'll share some with
you ♪
|
| 00:01:29 | ♪ you take one down ( and pass it around
) ♪
|
| 00:01:32 | ♪ 98 boxes ofraisin bran crunch ♪
|
| 00:01:34 | three tasty ingredients,one great combination.
|
| 00:01:37 | ♪
|
| 00:01:39 | from kellogg!
|
| 00:01:51 | His bag.
|
| 00:01:55 | Instead of dating all the guys in here,
which last year proved almost impossible,
I'm going to pick one lucky guy
to represent all of my admirers.
|
| 00:02:05 | Everyone has a fair chance.
|
| 00:02:07 | Pick one for me.
|
| 00:02:11 | Josh.
|
| 00:02:11 | He's really ugly. pick again.
|
| 00:02:17 | Sheldon?
|
| 00:02:19 | Ok, give me the bag.
|
| 00:02:23 | Ok.
|
| 00:02:25 | Pick the red one with the star.
|
| 00:02:30 | Johnny.
|
| 00:02:31 | The cutest guy in school.
|
| 00:02:33 | You know how to pick men.
|
| 00:02:37 | Well, all my valentines finally came in.
|
| 00:02:41 | I'm going upstairs to open them.
|
| 00:02:44 | [Bottles clanking]
sounds kind of like pop bottles.
|
| 00:02:48 | Well, they're not.
|
| 00:02:49 | They're paper.
|
| 00:02:51 | [Clank]
..
|
| 00:02:53 | You're my valentine.
|
| 00:02:55 | Wow. wait till I go tell the guys.
|
| 00:03:00 | Well, speaking of losers,
I'm going to go through these excess valentines.
|
| 00:03:04 | "
"
"dearest bud"?
|
| 00:03:14 | Yes, yes! I knew it!
|
| 00:03:16 | Give it here.
|
| 00:03:23 | ..april may june.
|
| 00:03:29 | She says she loves me,
and she's coming over to see me tonight.
|
| 00:03:33 | Oh, that's great, honey.
|
| 00:03:35 | Did you write that card as a joke?
|
| 00:03:38 | No. did you?
|
| 00:03:39 | Hey, you did write this, didn't you, kel?
|
| 00:03:42 | "April, may, june"--
those are all words you know.
|
| 00:03:49 | I've got a chance to see the bulls game tonight.
|
| 00:03:53 | Gee, bud. dilemma, dilemma.
|
| 00:03:56 | Do you get dressed up,
stay here, and look like an idiot,
or stand up the only date you'll ever have
and look like an idiot? mmm, tough one.
|
| 00:04:06 | I'm going to get ready for my real date.
|
| 00:04:09 | Did you write that?
|
| 00:04:11 | Say yes or no.
|
| 00:04:13 | No.
|
| 00:04:14 | I know you did.
|
| 00:04:15 | Ok, yeah, I did.
|
| 00:04:16 | No, you didn't. really, kel?
|
| 00:04:20 | Ok, peg. no sense in putting off the inevitable.
|
| 00:04:27 | Now the kids are upstairs,
so we probably shouldn't do it up there,
what with your screaming and everything.
|
| 00:04:34 | That was your fault, al.
|
| 00:04:36 | You're the one who turned the lights on.
|
| 00:04:44 | Let's not throw stones on this romantic night.
|
| 00:04:47 | Go downstairs. blow up the air mattress.
|
| 00:04:50 | I'll pop some tums and be right down.
|
| 00:04:55 | "
not that again.
|
| 00:05:01 | I know you didn't think of this yourself.
|
| 00:05:04 | Who did--phil, oprah?
|
| 00:05:09 | Marcy.
|
| 00:05:09 | Great. the only one we can't turn off.
|
| 00:05:12 | Al, steve and marcy not only say it,
they mean it. they show it.
|
| 00:05:18 | Guess what marcy's giving steve tonight.
|
| 00:05:21 | A running start.
|
| 00:05:23 | She went to cakes-a-poppin'.
|
| 00:05:25 | She's having herself delivered.
|
| 00:05:28 | She'll pop out naked.
|
| 00:05:29 | I hope you're happy.
|
| 00:05:30 | I'll never eat cake again.
|
| 00:05:33 | If she'll do that for steve,
"
I'm not going downstairs with you unless
you say it.
|
| 00:05:48 | Withholding sex from me? oh, no!
|
| 00:05:54 | I'll just have to relax and have fun instead.
|
| 00:05:59 | Come on, peg. what's the big deal?
|
| 00:06:02 | You know I do. I just can't say it.
|
| 00:06:05 | It makes me sick.
|
| 00:06:08 | It doesn't make me sick to say it.
|
| 00:06:11 | I love you.
|
| 00:06:12 | Yeah, yeah, yeah.
|
| 00:06:14 | I'll be waiting upstairs.
|
| 00:06:20 | Time to reach out and touch someone.
|
| 00:06:26 | Yeah, here we go.
|
| 00:06:28 | Ahem. ahem.
|
| 00:06:34 | I'm calling about the marcy rhoades
cake.
|
| 00:06:39 | This is her husband.
|
| 00:06:41 | There's been a change of plans.
|
| 00:06:43 | ..
|
| 00:06:46 | Do you have a pen?
|
| 00:06:53 | Bud, I don't know why you're dressed like
that.
|
| 00:06:57 | If you don't have a date,
why not go to the game?
|
| 00:07:02 | Maybe I'll spend the night
watching the game with my dad.
|
| 00:07:07 | Why? what did I do?
|
| 00:07:09 | Dad, mom's upstairs cursing you.
|
| 00:07:11 | I got to go.
|
| 00:07:13 | Wait a second. come here.
|
| 00:07:17 | Now, you guys are, what, in your teens?
|
| 00:07:23 | Something like that, dad, yeah.
|
| 00:07:25 | You've known me most of those years.
|
| 00:07:28 | How do you think I feel?
|
| 00:07:31 | ..
|
| 00:07:33 | Loves us?
|
| 00:07:34 | Yeah, that.
|
| 00:07:35 | You guys know that, right?
|
| 00:07:38 | Sure.
|
| 00:07:39 | Dad, are you dying?
|
| 00:07:45 | Yes, but no one seems to care.
|
| 00:07:47 | ..
|
| 00:07:52 | That you love us?
|
| 00:07:53 | Yes.
|
| 00:07:54 | You'll tell us when you're ready.
|
| 00:07:57 | It would make a nice moment
when you're old and feeble.
|
| 00:08:05 | Thank you.
|
| 00:08:10 | I'd get ready, bud.
|
| 00:08:12 | I'm not falling for it, kel.
|
| 00:08:22 | Look, dad, I've got a hot date coming.
|
| 00:08:25 | Get out.
|
| 00:08:29 | But the game's on.
|
| 00:08:33 | ..
|
| 00:08:34 | If you left now,
..
|
| 00:08:39 | You love me.
|
| 00:08:54 | .. how you doing?
|
| 00:08:58 | People shouldn't have to say it. it's unnecessary.
|
| 00:09:01 | I haven't cheated on you
or asked for my own room.
|
| 00:09:05 | I stayed through two kids
and your hot pants phase.
|
| 00:09:10 | Doesn't that say it?
|
| 00:09:11 | No.
|
| 00:09:12 | ..
|
| 00:09:14 | Could I have my own room?
|
| 00:09:17 | No!
|
| 00:09:18 | I want to hear it.
|
| 00:09:20 | Why?
|
| 00:09:21 | Because it's nice to know.
|
| 00:09:23 | I'll start. I love you.
|
| 00:09:26 | This really makes my stomach hurt.
|
| 00:09:29 | You can feel better quick. just say it.
|
| 00:09:34 | ..
|
| 00:09:36 | I have to go to the bathroom.
|
| 00:09:47 | Thanks, kel.
|
| 00:09:49 | Real funny joke.
|
| 00:09:50 | ..
|
| 00:09:52 | You're so immature.
|
| 00:09:55 | I hope you like itching powder in your bra.
|
| 00:10:00 | [Doorbell rings]
hi, bud. did you get my valentine?
|
| 00:10:10 | I'm april may june.
|
| 00:10:14 | Yes, yes, I vaguely remember.
|
| 00:10:17 | Come in, come in.
|
| 00:10:26 | ..you have quite an unusual name.
|
| 00:10:29 | How did you get it?
|
| 00:10:31 | My parents are idiots.
|
| 00:10:34 | We have a lot in common.
|
| 00:10:36 | So I should be your valentine?
|
| 00:10:39 | I saw you around school.
|
| 00:10:41 | I think you're cute, but you never noticed
me.
|
| 00:10:45 | You think I'm cute?
|
| 00:10:46 | All the girls do.
|
| 00:10:47 | Then why did I only get one stinking valentine?
|
| 00:10:53 | Sorry. I meant thank you.
|
| 00:10:57 | Why are you scratching?
|
| 00:10:59 | It's this darn bra.
|
| 00:11:03 | That's better.
|
| 00:11:04 | Don't you hate it when they ride up on you?
|
| 00:11:11 | Ok, peg, I'll say it.
|
| 00:11:14 | But before I say it,
I want to tell you I hate you for this.
|
| 00:11:21 | I don't want to do it. I'm unhappy.
|
| 00:11:24 | My stomach is boiling. my palms are sweating.
|
| 00:11:28 | And if you think you're getting a jump after
this,
you're sadly mistaken.
|
| 00:11:33 | If you had a brain, you'd already know.
|
| 00:11:36 | You want to hear it. it's what you want.
|
| 00:11:39 | It's your stinking, lousy valentine's day
present.
|
| 00:11:43 | So here it is.
|
| 00:11:46 | I love you.
|
| 00:11:51 | Oh, al!
|
| 00:11:54 | You didn't have to say that.
|
| 00:12:01 | Gee, I only hope that steve and marcy
are as happy as we are right now.
|
| 00:12:07 | I don't know about steve,
but, uh, marcy's having the night of her
life.
|
| 00:12:15 | ♪♪ My funny valentine ♪♪
|
| 00:12:19 | ♪♪ sweet, comic valentine ♪♪
|
| 00:12:22 | ♪♪ you make me smile ♪♪
|
| 00:12:25 | ♪♪ with your heart ♪♪♪♪
|
| 00:12:30 | captioning made possible bycolumbia tristar
domestic television
captioned by the nationalcaptioning institute
--www.ncicap.org--
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|
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|
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|
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|
| 00:12:57 | if my back's a little more sore.
|
| 00:12:58 | And by the time I get up
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|
| 00:13:01 | If you have back pain,
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|
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|
| 00:13:16 | And the bed is perfect for
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|
| 00:13:23 | Here's what clinical
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|
| 00:13:29 | - 90% reported reduced
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|
| 00:13:32 | - 87% fell asleep faster
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|
| 00:13:36 | For study summaries,
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|
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|
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|
| 00:13:55 | Imagine how good you'll
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|
| 00:14:00 | I'm not just a back surgeon,
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|
| 00:14:05 | I sleep on the Sleep
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|
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| 00:14:47 | Call now!
|
| 00:16:16 | Captioning made possible bycolumbia tristar
domestic television
♪ love and marriage ♪
|
| 00:16:23 | ♪ love and marriage ♪
|
| 00:16:26 | ♪ go together likea horse and carriage ♪
|
| 00:16:29 | ♪ this I tell ya,brother ♪
|
| 00:16:34 | ♪ you can't have one ♪
|
| 00:16:35 | ♪ without the other ♪
|
| 00:16:38 | ♪ love and marriage ♪
|
| 00:16:40 | ♪ love and marriage-- ♪♪
|
| 00:16:46 | hello, carol?
|
| 00:16:49 | Bud bundy here.
|
| 00:16:52 | Hello?
|
| 00:16:59 | Hello, carol? don't hang up.
|
| 00:17:01 | I got tickets to the concert.
|
| 00:17:03 | Yes. it's bud bundy.
|
| 00:17:04 | what would you say to a couple of primo
seats
to the jimmy dick and the nightsticks concert
saturday?
|
| 00:17:12 | Well, yeah, you'd have to go with me.
|
| 00:17:16 | I think it's worth it, too.
|
| 00:17:19 | Good.
|
| 00:17:19 | I'll pick you up at 8:00.
|
| 00:17:22 | Ciao,baby.
|
| 00:17:24 | ..
|
| 00:17:24 | So many women, so little time.
|
| 00:17:28 | Not me.
|
| 00:17:29 | I got one woman, too much time.
|
| 00:17:32 | I'm not interested, dad.
|
| 00:17:33 | I really want to impress this girl,
so could you drive me?
|
| 00:17:38 | Could you wear a chauffeur hat?
|
| 00:17:40 | And put something under your arm
so it looks like you're packing a rod.
|
| 00:17:45 | what your father's got under there
already
is far more lethal.
|
| 00:17:52 | Al, the termite control man needs you.
|
| 00:17:56 | Oh, why?
|
| 00:17:56 | I keep telling you we don't have termites.
|
| 00:18:04 | It's just the house settling.
|
| 00:18:09 | Kel, did you get the concert tickets?
|
| 00:18:12 | .. and backstage passes.
|
| 00:18:15 | You're a goddess.
|
| 00:18:16 | Give me my tickets.
|
| 00:18:17 | I decided not to get you any.
|
| 00:18:19 | It was either use your money for four tickets
or get two tickets and backstage passes for
me.
|
| 00:18:26 | I'm taking my ugly friend.
|
| 00:18:28 | That way jimmy will only look at me.
|
| 00:18:30 | I'm so happy.
|
| 00:18:33 | Well, kel.
|
| 00:18:34 | I'm happy for you,
!
|
| 00:18:40 | ..
|
| 00:18:41 | I'm going to meet jimmy dick!
|
| 00:18:44 | He's got this house in jamaica.
|
| 00:18:46 | Do you know what I'd do for that?
|
| 00:18:49 | What you'd do for dinner and a movie.
|
| 00:19:18 | know
are,
how do we know how many classrooms we need?
|
| 00:19:22 | The census helps us know exactly what we
need.
|
| 00:19:25 | So everyone can get their fair share of funding.
|
| 00:19:27 | We can't move forward until you mail it back.
|
| 00:19:30 | 2010 Census
auto!
|
| 00:19:34 | finding
everything okay?
|
| 00:19:36 | I work for a different
insurance company.
|
| 00:19:38 | My auto policy's
just getting
a little too expensive.
|
| 00:19:41 | With progressive, you get
the "name your price" option,
so we build a policy
to fit your budget.
|
| 00:19:46 | Wow! the price gun.
|
| 00:19:47 | ♪
|
| 00:19:47 | wish we had this.
|
| 00:19:48 | We'd just tell people
what to pay.
|
| 00:19:50 | Yeah, we're the only ones
that do.
|
| 00:19:52 | I love your insurance!
|
| 00:19:53 | Bill?
|
| 00:19:54 | Tom?
|
| 00:19:55 | Hey! it's an office party!
|
| 00:19:57 | The freedom to name
your price.
|
| 00:19:59 | Only from progressive.
|
| 00:19:59 | Call or click today.
|
| 00:20:33 | Luci romberg.
|
| 00:20:34 | ..
|
| 00:20:34 | ...National champion gymnast...
|
| 00:20:37 | ...Martial artist...
|
| 00:20:39 | And a stuntwoman.
|
| 00:20:40 | If you want to be incredible,eat incredible.
|
| 00:20:42 | incredibleenergy for body
and mind.
|
| 00:20:45 | (Guitar music)
didn't I say wipe your feet
before coming into the house?
|
| 00:21:55 | Now we have termites.
|
| 00:21:57 | Now, kids, don't be ashamed.
|
| 00:21:59 | Even the finest homes have termites.
|
| 00:22:01 | Of course they get them
from homes like ours.
|
| 00:22:07 | Kel, dad's in a bad mood.
|
| 00:22:09 | Be on your best behavior.
|
| 00:22:10 | Anything could get you grounded.
|
| 00:22:12 | Don't worry.
|
| 00:22:13 | I cleaned my room. I did my chores. I'm untouchable.
|
| 00:22:20 | Hey, dad.
|
| 00:22:21 | Report card day.
|
| 00:22:25 | I GOT FOUR As AND A "B,"
But enough about me.
|
| 00:22:29 | Batter up.
|
| 00:22:34 | ..
|
| 00:22:35 | I lost it.
|
| 00:22:36 | ..this is your lucky day...
|
| 00:22:44 | Because I found it.
|
| 00:22:46 | It must have fallen out of your purse
and accidently got taped under your bed.
|
| 00:22:53 | How did she do?
|
| 00:22:56 | Ahem.
|
| 00:22:57 | "
what happened, kel, you attend one?
|
| 00:23:03 | Kelly, this is the worst yet.
|
| 00:23:05 | We'll have to think of a punishment for this.
|
| 00:23:08 | I'm sure you'll think of something.
|
| 00:23:11 | Have a good time at that concert, kel.
|
| 00:23:14 | Concert?
|
| 00:23:15 | You think you're going to a concert?
|
| 00:23:18 | No way. you're grounded.
|
| 00:23:20 | Grounded?
|
| 00:23:21 | Kelly, you have got to learn responsibility.
|
| 00:23:24 | Want to see your father's old report cards?
|
| 00:23:27 | He didn't think studying was important, either.
|
| 00:23:31 | Now look at him.
|
| 00:23:34 | Mom, you're right, of course,
but won't you reconsider?
|
| 00:23:37 | I know kelly will study for monday's math
test
right after the concert.
|
| 00:23:43 | You have a math test monday?
|
| 00:23:45 | Damn my loose lips.
|
| 00:23:49 | Kelly?
|
| 00:23:50 | Come on.
|
| 00:23:52 | When am I going to need math?
|
| 00:23:54 | ..
|
| 00:23:58 | Three whoppers, large fries, and a coke.
|
| 00:24:03 | Yo, mr. bundy.
|
| 00:24:05 | More news on the termite front.
|
| 00:24:07 | A termite slipped, broke his wing,
and he's suing us.
|
| 00:24:11 | On the good side, he can't get much.
|
| 00:24:15 | Kel, I know you're thinking,
"
I'll take them for you.
|
| 00:24:23 | You think I'm staying here
when I'm just a paternity suit away from
jamaica?
|
| 00:24:31 | Oh, no, budrick.
|
| 00:24:33 | I'm sneaking out. I do it all the time.
|
| 00:24:36 | No house can hold me,
and you aren't going to tell.
|
| 00:24:41 | You can count on me, kel.
|
| 00:24:43 | I know I can
because I know
the identity of the masked lovers' lane peeper.
|
| 00:24:51 | You know, the one the whole football team
has a bounty on?
|
| 00:24:56 | You--you-- you have no proof.
|
| 00:25:00 | Oh?
|
| 00:25:04 | ..
|
| 00:25:04 | What would you call this mask and flashlight?
|
| 00:25:10 | I just look.
|
| 00:25:13 | bundy,
we tent this baby up,
and in a couple of days, adios, termites.
|
| 00:25:19 | How much will it cost?
|
| 00:25:21 | Just a second.
|
| 00:25:23 | Let's see.
|
| 00:25:24 | We're going to need the special tent.
|
| 00:25:27 | Special tent? for what?
|
| 00:25:29 | Your house is shaped oddly.
|
| 00:25:31 | You mean like a house?
|
| 00:25:33 | Yeah. too bad.
|
| 00:25:34 | Let's see. you got floors.
|
| 00:25:37 | That's extra.
|
| 00:25:38 | You got rooms.
|
| 00:25:40 | That's extra.
|
| 00:25:41 | And windows, too.
|
| 00:25:43 | Uh-oh.
|
| 00:25:45 | You got an attached garage,
so I'll give you 10% off,
but then it is another room,
so that's extra.
|
| 00:25:53 | Plus gratuity.
|
| 00:25:55 | That comes to $1,750.
|
| 00:25:58 | We'll think about it.
|
| 00:26:00 | We'll let you know.
|
| 00:26:02 | Be quick.
|
| 00:26:02 | Our price goes up next week.
|
| 00:26:05 | I'm getting my license.
|
| 00:26:06 | Kelly, you see what happens when you study?
|
| 00:26:11 | $1,750 A job.
|
| 00:26:12 | $1,750 A year.
|
| 00:26:14 | Yes.
|
| 00:26:16 | No.
|
| 00:26:17 | Winner.
|
| 00:26:18 | Loser.
|
| 00:26:20 | Suicide.
|
| 00:26:22 | Reason.
|
| 00:26:25 | I can squeeze you in on saturday.
|
| 00:26:28 | Saturday's fine.
|
| 00:26:30 | Saturday?
|
| 00:26:32 | Is a check ok?
|
| 00:26:34 | No.
|
| 00:26:37 | Ah, that's just great.
|
| 00:26:38 | $1,750 For a tent to put over a house.
|
| 00:26:42 | Why don't we just borrow
one of your mother's muumuus?
|
| 00:26:47 | If she doesn't wash it,
we won't have to pay for the poison, either.
|
| 00:26:54 | Since they will be spraying the house,
we will have to find someplace to stay.
|
| 00:27:01 | I can stay at my friend's.
|
| 00:27:03 | You're grounded this weekend.
|
| 00:27:05 | You're staying with the family and studying.
|
| 00:27:08 | We need a place that's cheap, comfortable,
and accepts pets.
|
| 00:27:13 | I got it.
|
| 00:27:14 | We'll sleep in the shoe store.
|
| 00:27:17 | Oh, honey, please reconsider.
|
| 00:27:19 | There's still time to get cardboard boxes
and sleep in the junkyard.
|
| 00:27:23 | Nah, it's too much like staying at your mother's.
|
| 00:27:27 | The shoe store's better and safer.
|
| 00:27:30 | Once I lock it up, nobody can get in.
|
| 00:27:34 | Or out.
|
| 00:27:55 | Els look so mad.
|
| 00:27:55 | Maybe it's because their department store
makeup is so expensive.
|
| 00:27:58 | Simply ageless with olayregenerist serum
costs less
and it won't glob upin lines and wrinkles.
|
| 00:28:03 | You'll look amazing and happy too.
|
| 00:28:05 | Simply ageless,
from olay and easy breezy beautiful covergirl.
|
| 00:28:11 | know
are,
how do we know how many classrooms we need?
|
| 00:28:15 | The census helps us know exactly what we
need.
|
| 00:28:18 | So everyone can get their fair share of funding.
|
| 00:28:20 | We can't move forward until you mail it back.
|
| 00:28:23 | 2010 Census
|
-2010-02-10-0/0_married ... with children-(peggy loves al, ``yeah, yeah, yeah'')-2010-02-10-0.jpg)
-2010-02-10-0/1_married ... with children-(peggy loves al, ``yeah, yeah, yeah'')-2010-02-10-0.jpg)
-2010-02-10-0/2_married ... with children-(peggy loves al, ``yeah, yeah, yeah'')-2010-02-10-0.jpg)
-2010-02-10-0/3_married ... with children-(peggy loves al, ``yeah, yeah, yeah'')-2010-02-10-0.jpg)
-2010-02-10-0/4_married ... with children-(peggy loves al, ``yeah, yeah, yeah'')-2010-02-10-0.jpg)
-2010-02-10-0/5_married ... with children-(peggy loves al, ``yeah, yeah, yeah'')-2010-02-10-0.jpg)
-2010-02-10-0/6_married ... with children-(peggy loves al, ``yeah, yeah, yeah'')-2010-02-10-0.jpg)
-2010-02-10-0/7_married ... with children-(peggy loves al, ``yeah, yeah, yeah'')-2010-02-10-0.jpg)
