| 00:00:00 | Sick.
|
| 00:00:01 | So... you're not going to be buried next
to me?
|
| 00:00:04 | Francine, it's "till death do us part."
At death, we part.
|
| 00:00:07 | You go underground and I go shooting into
the air
flying around like a crazy robot man.
|
| 00:00:12 | Unbelievable!
|
| 00:00:13 | I don't even want to look at you.
|
| 00:00:15 | You can just sleep on the couch tonight!
|
| 00:00:17 | Hey, you guys mind keeping it down?
|
| 00:00:19 | We're shooting a movie in the next room.
|
| 00:00:21 | Thanks.
|
| 00:00:22 | A movie?
|
| 00:00:24 | Hey, guys, I was eavesdropping,
but I found something better to do.
|
| 00:00:28 | I piddled some here on the rug.
|
| 00:00:29 | There's a little blood in it.
|
| 00:00:31 | So... enjoy.
|
| 00:00:35 | Okay, this is the big scene
where the mannequin turns into a living transvestite,
originally played by Kim Cattrall.
|
| 00:00:42 | And... action!
|
| 00:00:43 | You're the first thing I've ever created
that really made me feel like an artist.
|
| 00:00:48 | Sometimes I think you're the dummy!
|
| 00:00:52 | ROGER: Cut! Awful.
|
| 00:00:54 | Who are you?
|
| 00:00:55 | The name's Ira Siegal.
|
| 00:00:56 | I directed the episode ofCybill
where Christine Baranski sat on her nuts.
|
| 00:01:00 | The point is, I can direct this thing.
|
| 00:01:02 | Look how many pockets are on his jacket.
|
| 00:01:04 | I think we should let him do it.
|
| 00:01:05 | I'll remakeMannequin on one condition--
we make itGoonies.
|
| 00:01:09 | The Goonies?Why?
|
| 00:01:11 | Look at you four:
Fat, nerdy, smart-mouthed, Asian.
|
| 00:01:15 | You guysare the Goonies!
|
| 00:01:16 | ♪ What's good enough for you ♪
|
| 00:01:20 | ♪ Is good enough for me ♪
|
| 00:01:23 | ♪ It's good enough ♪
|
| 00:01:26 | ♪ It's good enough for me ♪
|
| 00:01:27 | ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. ♪
|
| 00:01:47 | (snoring)
(mumbling): Marinate it with the marinate.
|
| 00:01:49 | Oh, that's not enough marinate.
|
| 00:01:51 | That's too much marinate.
|
| 00:01:53 | Francine! What's going on?
|
| 00:01:55 | I realized I have been selfish.
|
| 00:01:57 | It has been all about me.
|
| 00:01:59 | But it's time we make it all about you.
|
| 00:02:01 | You made me love coupons?
|
| 00:02:03 | Tomorrow's going to be the best Valentine's
Day of your life.
|
| 00:02:07 | It starts with brunch
and gets progressively more romantic as it
goes.
|
| 00:02:11 | It ends with us doing something so dirty,
we'll both have intestinal distress for a
month.
|
| 00:02:16 | Ooh!
|
| 00:02:17 | And that's not all.
|
| 00:02:18 | I've also decided to join you in that lovers'
coffin.
|
| 00:02:21 | This is the CIA contract that I signed to
become a cyborg.
|
| 00:02:27 | Oh, Stan! I love you!
|
| 00:02:29 | (rumbling)
(Francine screams)
What's happening?!
|
| 00:02:43 | (whirring)
Stan, I'm you from the future.
|
| 00:02:49 | We need to talk.
|
| 00:02:50 | Oh, my God, it's me!
|
| 00:02:52 | As a cyborg!
|
| 00:02:54 | I'm awesome!
|
| 00:02:55 | But you tore up the contract.
|
| 00:02:58 | Wait.
|
| 00:02:59 | This is the dishwasher warranty!
|
| 00:03:02 | What happens if it breaks down?!
|
| 00:03:05 | It does!
|
| 00:03:50 | O you ladies got there?
|
| 00:03:51 | Wendy's apple pecan chicken salad
and a baked potato.
|
| 00:03:54 | A blt cob and a chili.
|
| 00:03:55 | For one price you can pick 2 things.
|
| 00:03:58 | What do you got?
|
| 00:03:59 | This.
|
| 00:04:01 | Ahh.
|
| 00:04:01 | Only one thing?
|
| 00:04:03 | I have something else.
|
| 00:04:06 | [Buzz]
♪♪ my pookie bear, you're my pookie bear
♪♪
|
| 00:04:09 | ♪♪ my pook-- ♪♪ [beep]
now you canpick 2 at wendy's.
|
| 00:04:12 | Any half-size salad and one of 7 tasty options
for just $4.99.
|
| 00:04:16 | ♪♪You know when it's real ♪♪
|
| 00:04:50 | ♪♪
|
| 00:04:51 | [ Male Announcer ] IT'S TIME TO TAKE MATTERS
Into your own hands.
|
| 00:04:55 | Autozone's got the advice
and expertise you need to take on any job.
|
| 00:04:58 | Because do-it-yourself doesn't mean you have
to do it alone.
|
| 00:05:02 | Get in the zone. autozone.
|
| 00:07:07 | Francine, look how cool I am as a cyborg!
|
| 00:07:10 | (bizarre accent): Stan, I've traveled back,
like, a thousand years, mang.
|
| 00:07:13 | We need to talk "aboot" the future.
|
| 00:07:15 | Why do you have an accent?
|
| 00:07:16 | Yeah, it's like a mix of Mexican and Canadian.
|
| 00:07:19 | Oh, yeah, yeah, America gets taken over by
Mexico and Canada
in, like, a hundred years or something.
|
| 00:07:25 | My God, a great nation defeated
by an army of gardeners and boring people.
|
| 00:07:30 | Stan, in the future, the machines rise up
and try to destroy the human race.
|
| 00:07:35 | I need to train you so you can stop it from
happening.
|
| 00:07:38 | You'll save the world, mang, eh?
|
| 00:07:40 | I save the world?!
|
| 00:07:42 | I knew it.
|
| 00:07:44 | (bleep) knew it.
|
| 00:07:45 | I can't believe you lied to me
about ripping up that contract.
|
| 00:07:48 | That's it. Out of here, both of you!
|
| 00:07:50 | I'm going back to bed alone.
|
| 00:07:53 | Francine...
|
| 00:07:55 | Fine.
|
| 00:07:56 | I have so much to ask you about the future!
|
| 00:07:58 | Like, do I ever truly fall in love?
|
| 00:08:04 | (whirring)
Wakey, wakey, gringo.
|
| 00:08:08 | (groggily): Early...
|
| 00:08:08 | If you're going to save the world in a thousand
years,
we gotta spend all your time getting ready,
okay?
|
| 00:08:13 | The evil machines of the future
are based on today's electronics, okay?
|
| 00:08:17 | So take these things apart and learn how
they function.
|
| 00:08:21 | How they think, ese.
|
| 00:08:23 | You got a problem with me?!
|
| 00:08:25 | You don't even know me!
|
| 00:08:27 | (grunts) (gasps)
Roomba!
|
| 00:08:30 | Stan! I love that thing!
|
| 00:08:32 | She's soft on the machines.
|
| 00:08:34 | Probably betray us.
|
| 00:08:35 | Should we, uh, kill her now?
|
| 00:08:36 | Look, it's Valentine's Day,
and I want to go to brunch.
|
| 00:08:41 | Francine, I must train.
|
| 00:08:43 | These coupons say they're good anytime.
|
| 00:08:46 | I'll be in the car.
|
| 00:08:47 | Looks like no training today for me, Future
Stan.
|
| 00:08:51 | Not necessarily, "bromigo."
Okay, let's go, mama.
|
| 00:08:58 | I'm not going anywhere with you.
|
| 00:09:00 | The coupon didn't say anything
about which Stan it has to be.
|
| 00:09:03 | Have fun, you two.
|
| 00:09:13 | Treasure map!
|
| 00:09:15 | Cut! Ugh!
|
| 00:09:16 | We've done this 40 times!
|
| 00:09:17 | What's wrong now? I hate your face!
|
| 00:09:19 | Do it again! (all groan)
And... action!
|
| 00:09:25 | A treasure map.
|
| 00:09:27 | One-Eyed Willy buried a treasure
that was full of diamonds and emeralds...
|
| 00:09:31 | Give it to me! I'll kill you!
|
| 00:09:33 | The treasure's mine!
|
| 00:09:37 | Oh. Right.
|
| 00:09:38 | Right, well, great work then.
|
| 00:09:40 | Very convincing, Steve.
|
| 00:09:41 | So convincing that I ruined the shot.
|
| 00:09:43 | So, let's take it from the top.
|
| 00:09:45 | Right after I get that treasure!
|
| 00:09:47 | (running footsteps fading into distance,
then stop)
ROGER: Don't go anywhere, I'm on my way back.
|
| 00:09:51 | I remember what we're doing again.
|
| 00:09:54 | I know this situation
isn't exactly ideal for you.
|
| 00:09:58 | But spending the day with a beautiful woman,
that's pretty ideal for me, mang.
|
| 00:10:03 | (mechanical whirring)
(music playing)
It's Japanese funk.
|
| 00:10:10 | Give it a chance, everybody loves it in the
future.
|
| 00:10:13 | ♪ ♪
|
| 00:10:22 | ♪ ♪
|
| 00:10:53 | ♪ ♪
|
| 00:10:56 | This actually turned out to be a really nice
Valentine's Day.
|
| 00:11:02 | I've missed you.
|
| 00:11:03 | You know, the last time I saw you,
you were in the electric chair.
|
| 00:11:07 | You looked so tired.
|
| 00:11:08 | You'd been running for so long.
|
| 00:11:12 | Hey, guys!
|
| 00:11:14 | Stan, what did you do?!
|
| 00:11:16 | I won the first battle, Francine.
|
| 00:11:18 | But not yet the war.
|
| 00:11:20 | I must rest.
|
| 00:11:21 | Ugh! I-I-I can't deal with him right now.
|
| 00:11:25 | (Stan snoring)
Oh, I remember that dream.
|
| 00:11:29 | It's a puppy dream.
|
| 00:11:30 | Eat those puppies, Stan.
|
| 00:11:32 | Eat them till you're full.
|
| 00:11:42 | Aren't you gonna eat?
|
| 00:11:43 | I could but it's not logical.
|
| 00:11:45 | It would just be for pleasure.
|
| 00:11:48 | Mmm, this French toast is so good.
|
| 00:11:52 | You have to try it.
|
| 00:11:59 | Nice bite, nardo.
|
| 00:12:00 | Come on, let's train.
|
| 00:12:01 | Okay, Stan, in the future, all fighting happens
very low
because future armor protects everyone from
the mid-calf up.
|
| 00:12:08 | So, I'm gonna show you some kicks and punches
that attack the ankles.
|
| 00:12:14 | Okay, so, this is the move.
|
| 00:12:15 | Sweep low, chop low, swing low.
|
| 00:12:18 | Got it. You don't have to tell me twice;
I remember it exactly.
|
| 00:12:22 | Chop low, Rob Lowe, Chad Lowe.
|
| 00:12:25 | Chop low, Rob Lowe, Chad Lowe.
|
| 00:12:28 | Chop low, Rob Lowe, Chad Lowe...
|
| 00:12:33 | We have to talk about our feelings, homes.
|
| 00:12:36 | I'm a married woman.
|
| 00:12:37 | Yeah, you're married to me, hyna.
|
| 00:12:40 | Oh, yeah.
|
| 00:12:42 | I... I-I guess.
|
| 00:12:44 | I'm Stan.
|
| 00:12:45 | Just a more evolved Stan.
|
| 00:12:47 | A Stan who spent a thousand lonely years
without you, mang,
and realized you're the most important thing
in the world, eh?
|
| 00:12:56 | This is too crazy! Y-Y-You're a robot!
|
| 00:13:01 | CYBORG STAN: That man will let you down again
and again.
|
| 00:13:05 | I know because I was that man.
|
| 00:13:08 | You deserve better, dawg.
|
| 00:13:10 | I'm so confused, dawg.
|
| 00:13:16 | (grunting)
Stan, we need to talk.
|
| 00:13:20 | What is it, another coupon?
|
| 00:13:21 | The coupons are all gone, brah.
|
| 00:13:24 | But... what about all the sexy coupons at
the end?
|
| 00:13:30 | (gasps)
You two did the Tennessee Logjammer!
|
| 00:13:33 | Where are the other two guys?
|
| 00:13:35 | And did you at least put my ladder back?
|
| 00:13:36 | This isn't easy to say, but I'm leaving you.
|
| 00:13:41 | For you.
|
| 00:13:42 | In the future.
|
| 00:13:43 | But now. What?
|
| 00:13:45 | You can't leave me for me.
|
| 00:13:46 | And besides, he's only here to train me for
the future war.
|
| 00:13:50 | There is no future war.
|
| 00:13:52 | I made it all up.
|
| 00:13:52 | I actually came back to steal Francine from
you.
|
| 00:13:57 | You bastard!
|
| 00:14:00 | I guess I should go release
the rice cooker from the internment camp.
|
| 00:14:16 | How could you sleep with another man?
|
| 00:14:19 | He's not another man, Stan.
|
| 00:14:21 | He's you.
|
| 00:14:22 | A more thoughtful version of you.
|
| 00:14:25 | He even agreed to get in
the lovers' coffin with me when I die.
|
| 00:14:29 | I never die, so I'm just gonna lie next to
her forever
and stroke her hair and do nice stuff like
that to her.
|
| 00:14:35 | Oh, Cybee.
|
| 00:14:37 | I'm more romantic than this joker.
|
| 00:14:39 | You gotta give me another chance.
|
| 00:14:41 | I swear, tomorrow I will give you
the most romantic day of your life.
|
| 00:14:46 | I don't know, Present Stan.
|
| 00:14:49 | Okay.
|
| 00:14:50 | Thank you! You won't regret it!
|
| 00:14:53 | I hate you.
|
| 00:14:54 | Hey, brah, I make it up to you. How about
a handy J?
|
| 00:14:57 | (spitting)
What, it's not gay-- it's you on you.
|
| 00:15:03 | Action.
|
| 00:15:03 | Down here it's ourtime!
|
| 00:15:05 | It'sourtime downhere!
|
| 00:15:08 | Ow! What the hell?
|
| 00:15:10 | I'm getting more acting out of the sex doll!
|
| 00:15:14 | Sex doll?!
|
| 00:15:15 | Ew! I've been keeping my gum in its mouth!
|
| 00:15:18 | That's it!
|
| 00:15:19 | I'm through with this movie!
|
| 00:15:20 | I'd rather do another one
of my uncle's secret basement movies!
|
| 00:15:25 | But I got too old.
|
| 00:15:28 | Guys, wait.
|
| 00:15:28 | Kids always talk about doing remakes of their
favorite movies,
but they never see it through.
|
| 00:15:34 | We can't quit.
|
| 00:15:35 | This isourtime.
|
| 00:15:36 | It'sourtime downhere.
|
| 00:15:41 | I'm in.
|
| 00:15:42 | Me, too.
|
| 00:15:43 | Give me that map!
|
| 00:15:45 | The treasure is ours!
|
| 00:15:47 | We're rich, baby!
|
| 00:15:48 | Just like we talked about.
|
| 00:15:49 | (Roger laughs maniacally)
(whirring)
I know you promised Francine a romantic day
tomorrow,
but I can't let that happen.
|
| 00:16:02 | Time to send you into the past.
|
| 00:16:15 | Hayley! I overslept. Where's your mom?
|
| 00:16:17 | She went to Hershy Park with your cyborg.
|
| 00:16:20 | (gasps)
Thanks for doing the Chocolate Tunnel of
Love with me again.
|
| 00:16:32 | I was scared the first time,
but once I relaxed,
I was surprised how much I liked it.
|
| 00:16:43 | (screams)
Don't!
|
| 00:16:46 | Sweep low!
|
| 00:16:48 | Rob Lowe!
|
| 00:16:49 | Chad Lowe!
|
| 00:16:53 | Augustus! No!
|
| 00:16:57 | (grunting)
(mechanical whirring)
(groans)
(screams)
Ugh.
|
| 00:17:22 | (Stan groaning)
(screams)
(laughs)
Damn it!
|
| 00:17:52 | Why did I join that stupid cyborg program?
|
| 00:17:55 | Wait!
|
| 00:17:56 | If never join the program, you won't exist.
|
| 00:17:59 | I'll just rip up my cyborg contract!
|
| 00:18:01 | (mechanical whirring)
Sorry, Stan, I knew we'd think of that.
|
| 00:18:05 | (grunting)
You are just a stinker!
|
| 00:18:08 | Francine, listen.
|
| 00:18:10 | I love you. I get it.
|
| 00:18:11 | And I'm going to start being attentive
to your wants and needs.
|
| 00:18:14 | If you really believe that, then, here, take
the contract.
|
| 00:18:19 | It's your choice, eh?
|
| 00:18:21 | You can rip it up and get your wife back.
|
| 00:18:23 | Or you can let F be happy with me.
|
| 00:18:26 | What's it going to be, ese?
|
| 00:18:28 | What you want or what she wants?
|
| 00:18:31 | What I want! Duh!
|
| 00:18:35 | Oh, my God, what am I saying?
|
| 00:18:37 | I haven't changed.
|
| 00:18:40 | Francine, if it takes a thousand years of
loneliness and misery
for me to finally understand how to treat
you,
then so be it.
|
| 00:18:49 | I just want you to be happy.
|
| 00:18:56 | (paper ripping)
That's all I needed to hear.
|
| 00:19:05 | The refrigerator manual?!
|
| 00:19:07 | I'm still Stan.
|
| 00:19:10 | (beeping)
(beeping)
(in slo-mo): Chad... Lowe...!
|
| 00:19:26 | (in slo-mo): Yeah?
|
| 00:19:39 | (groans)
Oh, choc-blocked me, bro.
|
| 00:19:50 | I'm never going to let go of this hand, ever
again.
|
| 00:19:56 | ♪ Never know what's gonna go down at Hershy
Park ♪
|
| 00:20:01 | ♪ Hershy Park, Hershy Park! ♪
|
| 00:20:05 | Augustus is dead!
|
| 00:20:08 | (sobbing) ♪ At Hershy Park ♪
|
| 00:20:10 | ♪ Hershy Park ♪
|
| 00:20:11 | ♪ Hershy Park, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! ♪
|
| 00:20:26 | Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
Bye-bye! See you soon.
|
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