| 00:00:00 | Even know what
you're talking about.
|
| 00:00:01 | Nobody won anything here.
|
| 00:00:02 | >> Mind if I look around?
|
| 00:00:04 | [Crash]
>> yes, I do mind.
|
| 00:00:07 | >> Oh. scratch off and win.
|
| 00:00:09 | >> Every cup's a winner!
|
| 00:00:11 | >> 1 In 3 chance of getting
your dick ripped off.
|
| 00:00:14 | you're wasting
your time because no one won
that.
|
| 00:00:17 | well, that's not what he
said.
|
| 00:00:19 | >> Who won it, little man?
|
| 00:00:21 | >> 'Cause someone's dick is
coming with me tonight!
|
| 00:00:24 | >> Next door and shut up!
|
| 00:00:26 | >> Shake!
|
| 00:00:27 | >> I'm trying to watch this
show.
|
| 00:00:28 | Will you shut the hell up?
|
| 00:00:30 | God!
|
| 00:00:30 | >> Good-bye.
|
| 00:00:33 | Carl, come on out.
|
| 00:00:34 | >> Are they gone?
|
| 00:00:35 | >> Yeah. to your house.
|
| 00:00:37 | They're gonna turn it inside
out, carl, until he gets ahold
of your dick.
|
| 00:00:41 | >> Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey!
|
| 00:00:42 | He's over here!
|
| 00:00:43 | Where'd you go?
|
| 00:00:44 | >> Would you shut up?
|
| 00:00:45 | Apparently, carl, when you
bought that medium drink, you
entered a binding contract.
|
| 00:00:49 | It enables them to rip off your
dick.
|
| 00:00:51 | >> Oh, no!
|
| 00:00:51 | >> Yeah.
|
| 00:00:52 | And there's really nothing i
can do about it.
|
| 00:01:02 | [Cell phone ringing]
>> hello?
|
| 00:01:04 | >> Did you get the dick yet?
|
| 00:01:05 | >> We're working on it,
mr. wong burger.
|
| 00:01:10 | >> Finally tonight, I will have
enough dicks to complete the
dickship and return to dick
planet.
|
| 00:01:16 | >> Yes, mr. wong burger.
|
| 00:01:20 | >> How we gonna get out of
this, fry man?
|
| 00:01:22 | >> Well, I have an idea, but
it's not very good.
|
| 00:01:25 | >> Those dicks, will you,
please, somebody stack them
better?
|
| 00:01:28 | >> The dicks won't hold
together, mr. wong burger!
|
| 00:01:31 | >> We're gonna have to wrap
these dicks with something,
maybe with a--a dick.
|
| 00:01:37 | >> Are you telling me that i
don't know dick?
|
| 00:01:39 | If anyone knows how to build a
ship out of dicks, it is me!
|
| 00:01:43 | >> Yes, mr. wong burger.
|
| 00:01:45 | >> Because I am king dick!
|
| 00:01:46 | >> We're missing a dick for the
nose cone!
|
| 00:01:49 | >> The dick ship will never
hold together.
|
| 00:01:51 | What's taking them so long?
|
| 00:01:53 | He entered a binding legal
contract the moment he took a
sip.
|
| 00:01:56 | ..
|
| 00:01:58 | Dicking around over
there, do you?
|
| 00:02:01 | >> I doubt it.
|
| 00:02:02 | They're professional dick
hunters.
|
| 00:02:04 | They crave dick, as we all do.
|
| 00:02:08 | >> You can get up now, carl.
|
| 00:02:09 | I think we're done.
|
| 00:02:10 | >> Oh, man.
|
| 00:02:11 | >> Feel all right?
|
| 00:02:12 | >> Where'd you get these
painkillers?
|
| 00:02:14 | They're awesome.
|
| 00:02:15 | maybe you should just,
like, use pills forever.
|
| 00:02:20 | >> Yeah. you're right.
|
| 00:02:22 | This was a, uh, very bad idea.
|
| 00:02:24 | >> Hey, carlina, wow!
|
| 00:02:26 | >> Oh. I get it.
|
| 00:02:27 | you put me under, dressed
me like a woman, took pictures
of me.
|
| 00:02:31 | Laugh's on me, huh?
|
| 00:02:32 | >> Well, no, carl.
|
| 00:02:33 | See--heh--uh, you're not just
dressed like a woman.
|
| 00:02:39 | >> Oh, do go on, please.
|
| 00:02:40 | >> Well, it's pretty simple
really.
|
| 00:02:42 | I removed your dick so no one
will have no need to remove it.
|
| 00:02:45 | >> So the giant blood stain is,
uh--what is that, me having my
period, I guess?
|
| 00:02:49 | Heh heh!
|
| 00:02:50 | >> It could be, or it could be
just the spot where I snipped
your dick off.
|
| 00:02:55 | >> You're taking this pretty
good, carl.
|
| 00:02:58 | Kudos.
|
| 00:02:59 | >> Seems like this whole thing
kind of defeats the purpose,
you know?
|
| 00:03:02 | >> Yep.
|
| 00:03:03 | And what I just did was a very
bad idea.
|
| 00:03:05 | >> You think, uh, maybe i
could, uh, have my dick back?
|
| 00:03:07 | Oh, wait. you know what?
|
| 00:03:08 | Maybe you should keep my dick
so you could, uh,
hump yourself!
|
| 00:03:13 | >> Technically, that would not
be, uh, doing yourself, just
for the record.
|
| 00:03:17 | >> Hey, carl. look at that.
|
| 00:03:18 | You can still pick your dick
out of the garbage.
|
| 00:03:20 | >> Is that it?
|
| 00:03:21 | Is that mine?
|
| 00:03:22 | Of course it is.
|
| 00:03:23 | It's got that curve to the left.
|
| 00:03:24 | No, no, no!
|
| 00:03:26 | Why'd you let them take it?
|
| 00:03:28 | >> Hang on, hang on, hang on.
|
| 00:03:29 | I have a better plan.
|
| 00:03:30 | Meatwad, you got a big dick,
right?
|
| 00:03:32 | huge, but I need
it for tonight.
|
| 00:03:35 | >> But it's detachable, so that
helps us.
|
| 00:03:38 | >> No!
|
| 00:03:38 | No way I'm having a dick made
of hamburger.
|
| 00:03:41 | >> I'm not giving it to you.
|
| 00:03:42 | >> Good because I don't need it
because I'm huge between the
legs!
|
| 00:03:47 | >> Who wants to see my dick?
|
| 00:03:48 | [Grease squishing]
see?
|
| 00:03:52 | Dick nixon.
|
| 00:03:53 | Old tricky dick.
|
| 00:03:55 | >> I have another idea.
|
| 00:03:56 | >> All the dicks are polished,
sir.
|
| 00:03:58 | >> Probably needs just a couple
more dick rotors, maybe a dick
wheel or two.
|
| 00:04:04 | >> Yes, mr. wong burger!
|
| 00:04:06 | >> And, uh, do we have to fuel
it up with some dicks?
|
| 00:04:09 | we got a full tank of
dicks.
|
| 00:04:12 | >> Full tank. good, good, good.
|
| 00:04:14 | Wall-to-wall dick carpeting?
|
| 00:04:15 | you've mentioned that,
mr. wong burger.
|
| 00:04:18 | >> Agh! dicks!
|
| 00:04:19 | Everywhere I turn, it's dicks!
|
| 00:04:21 | >> Intruders!
|
| 00:04:23 | Stop them!
|
| 00:04:24 | >> Close the dick gate!
|
| 00:04:30 | >> What are you doing touching
my dicks?
|
| 00:04:32 | >> You can't just run around,
ripping off people's dicks to
make a giant dickship.
|
| 00:04:36 | >> I have an advanced degree in
dicknology!
|
| 00:04:38 | >> You're a madman, wong bu
this ship will never fly.
|
| 00:04:41 | >> Well, how else am I supposed
to get home?
|
| 00:04:45 | >> Call someone to pick you up.
|
| 00:04:51 | >> I will.
|
| 00:04:53 | you don't know
which one of these is carl's.
|
| 00:04:56 | >> It don't matter.
|
| 00:04:57 | Just get one.
|
| 00:04:57 | >> You grab one.
|
| 00:04:58 | I'm not touching those dicks.
|
| 00:05:01 | >> Hopefully, the swelling in
your chest should go down once
the testosterone fully
circulates around your body.
|
| 00:05:07 | >> Ohh.
|
| 00:05:08 | What about my voice?
|
| 00:05:09 | I added a third testicle
to speed up the process.
|
| 00:05:12 | I'll have to cut it out later.
|
| 00:05:14 | Otherwise, you'd just go insane
with rage.
|
| 00:05:16 | >> Whoa! check it out!
|
| 00:05:17 | Somebody's suing wong burger!
|
| 00:05:19 | >> Wong burger could not be
reached for comment as he left
the press conference in a giant
spaceship made of dicks, which
crashed into a building made of
dicks.
|
| 00:05:30 | Apparently that's what the
building was made of, if you've
ever seen it from the
interstate.
|
| 00:05:34 | ..
|
| 00:05:38 | Total, uh--you know, a total,
..
|
| 00:05:44 | Uh, what's the word I'm looking
for here?
|
| 00:05:46 | ..uh...
|
| 00:05:48 | ..
|
| 00:05:50 | >> While you guys are busy
wasting, I found a perfectly
good hot dog in the trash
sitting right on top of two
soggy walnuts.
|
| 00:06:01 | Mm.
|
| 00:06:02 | Still in the wrapper.
|
| 00:06:03 | I mean, there's hair on them,
but, hey, a little brush off.
|
| 00:06:06 | Delicious.
|
| 00:06:07 | Mm.
|
| 00:06:08 | This tastes like blood.
|
| 00:06:10 | Wow!
|
| 00:06:11 | This hot dog.
|
| 00:06:13 | I think the gum is blood
flavored.
|
| 00:06:16 | Wait.
|
| 00:06:18 | Yeah. definitely blood flavored.
|
| 00:06:20 | [Captioning made possible by
turner entertainment group]
[captioned by the national
captioning institute
--www.ncicap.org--] BE ON THE UGLY SIDE OF
Town.
|
| 00:07:27 | Because everybody here is, like, gross.
|
| 00:07:30 | [ growls ] HE PUT HIS HANDS WHERE?
|
| 00:07:32 | Uhh. he's likea six handed monkey.
|
| 00:07:36 | Ewww! sky rats!
|
| 00:07:37 | Give daddy a kiss.
|
| 00:07:39 | [ woman screaming ]
[Captioning made possible by
turner entertainment group]
>> lord in heaven,
have him call me.
|
| 00:11:04 | [Sighs]
satan in hell, make him call me.
|
| 00:11:13 | Why doesn't he call?
|
| 00:11:15 | [Ring]
ah!
|
| 00:11:16 | [Ring]
clay?
|
| 00:11:21 | Huh, just a lucky guess.
|
| 00:11:24 | What's up?
|
| 00:11:25 | Ooh, sure, I'll be there in 10.
|
| 00:11:29 | Now, which one of you little
guys did this for me?
|
| 00:11:32 | Cootchie cootchie coo.
|
| 00:11:34 | ..
|
| 00:11:36 | So, how's work, clay?
|
| 00:11:38 | >> Well, you know,
pays the bills.
|
| 00:11:40 | >> Mmm, I'll be it does.
|
| 00:11:42 | Heh heh.
|
| 00:11:43 | >> Oh, it does.
|
| 00:11:45 | Believe you me.ll bet.
|
| 00:11:51 | Hmm?
|
| 00:11:52 | >> Yeah, keeps me busy as a
little male beaver.
|
| 00:11:56 | >> Mmm, my kind of beaver.
|
| 00:11:58 | Heh heh.
|
| 00:12:01 | >> Dolly, can we settle up?
|
| 00:12:04 | I should go.
|
| 00:12:05 | >> Great.
|
| 00:12:07 | >> Yarn, yarn, yarn, yarn,
yarn, yarn!
|
| 00:12:12 | [Humming]
my, you're working late.
|
| 00:12:18 | ..
|
| 00:12:19 | >> Dead end job, mm-hmm.
|
| 00:12:26 | >> ♪♪ I'll miss you
when you coming home?
|
| 00:12:31 | Where you been to?
|
| 00:12:33 | You can telephone
is this the time when
supposed to find it now
I've got enough friends
just to pass the time
I kissed you on a saturday
I miss you even more today ♪♪
|
| 00:13:04 | >> yes, well, the lord's logic
is very complex when it comes to
hating nipples.
|
| 00:13:09 | You see, with men, he--
hello.
|
| 00:13:12 | >> Danielle?
|
| 00:13:14 | >> They never make these loose
enough down south.
|
| 00:13:16 | >> Oh?
|
| 00:13:18 | >> Bought these in argentina.
|
| 00:13:19 | Heh heh heh.
|
| 00:13:22 | >> So, reverend, can you give me
a scoop on what the sermon's
about today?
|
| 00:13:26 | >> I think I'm gonna call an
audible this week, orel, for our
special guest.
|
| 00:13:31 | >> Exciting.
|
| 00:13:32 | >> Homosexuality.
|
| 00:13:35 | >> [Collective gasp]
>> not only is it the
biggest sin out there,
it's just plain unfair.
|
| 00:13:39 | Men with men?
|
| 00:13:41 | Are you kidding me?
|
| 00:13:42 | Ha!
|
| 00:13:43 | Try not to lose your virginity
under those circumstances.
|
| 00:13:46 | I mean, you cut out women and
you cut out teasing and shelling
out cash for expensive dinners
and nagging.
|
| 00:13:52 | In fact, gay men would have it
made in the shade if it weren't
for one thing:
God hates 'em.
|
| 00:14:00 | Why?
|
| 00:14:01 | Because they can't multiply.
|
| 00:14:02 | Seriously.
|
| 00:14:03 | As hard as they kiss and press
their stupid bodies together,
they're never going to squeeze a
baby out of each other.
|
| 00:14:09 | I'm telling you, it's a joke.
|
| 00:14:10 | And guess who's the only
one laughing.
|
| 00:14:13 | >> Satan.
|
| 00:14:13 | >> Satan, that's right.
|
| 00:14:15 | In fact, he makes it happen.
|
| 00:14:16 | >> Hmm?
|
| 00:14:18 | Let's do this.
|
| 00:14:23 | >> [Laughter]
>> coach stopframe?
|
| 00:14:27 | >> Oh, hi, orel.
|
| 00:14:29 | >> Whatcha got there?
|
| 00:14:30 | >> Mmm, nothing, just a picture.
|
| 00:14:32 | Oh, hey, orel, do you think that
you could get me a little bit of
your dad's hair?
|
| 00:14:37 | >> Sure.
|
| 00:14:38 | What for?
|
| 00:14:39 | >> Well, I want to buy him a new
comb and I need to see what
gauge teeth to get on it.
|
| 00:14:46 | >> Gotcha.
|
| 00:00:00 | You're from wong's,
aren't you?
|
| 00:00:02 | >> Yes, I am.
|
| 00:00:03 | So who's gonna get their dick
ripped off tonight?
|
| 00:00:08 | >> Well, he ain't here.
|
| 00:00:09 | >> Who's not here?
|
| 00:00:10 | >> Carl, the guy that it ain't
happening to.
|
| 00:00:13 | >> So someone won.
|
| 00:00:15 | >> I don't even know what
you're talking about.
|
| 00:00:16 | Nobody won anything here.
|
| 00:00:17 | >> Mind if I look around?
|
| 00:00:19 | [Crash]
>> yes, I do mind.
|
| 00:00:22 | >> Oh. scratch off and win.
|
| 00:00:24 | >> Every cup's a winner!
|
| 00:00:26 | >> 1 In 3 chance of getting
your dick ripped off.
|
| 00:00:29 | you're wasting
your time because no one won
that.
|
| 00:00:32 | well, that's not what he
said.
|
| 00:00:34 | >> Who won it, little man?
|
| 00:00:36 | >> 'Cause someone's dick is
coming with me tonight!
|
| 00:00:40 | >> Next door and shut up!
|
| 00:00:41 | >> Shake!
|
| 00:00:42 | >> I'm trying to watch this
show.
|
| 00:00:44 | Will you shut the hell up?
|
| 00:00:45 | God!
|
| 00:00:46 | >> Good-bye.
|
| 00:00:48 | Carl, come on out.
|
| 00:00:50 | >> Are they gone?
|
| 00:00:51 | >> Yeah. to your house.
|
| 00:00:52 | They're gonna turn it inside
out, carl, until he gets ahold
of your dick.
|
| 00:00:56 | >> Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey!
|
| 00:00:58 | He's over here!
|
| 00:00:58 | Where'd you go?
|
| 00:00:59 | >> Would you shut up?
|
| 00:01:01 | Apparently, carl, when you
bought that medium drink, you
entered a binding contract.
|
| 00:01:04 | It enables them to rip off your
dick.
|
| 00:01:06 | >> Oh, no!
|
| 00:01:07 | >> Yeah.
|
| 00:01:08 | And there's really nothing i
can do about it.
|
| 00:01:17 | [Cell phone ringing]
>> hello?
|
| 00:01:19 | >> Did you get the dick yet?
|
| 00:01:20 | >> We're working on it,
mr. wong burger.
|
| 00:01:25 | >> Finally tonight, I will have
enough dicks to complete the
dickship and return to dick
planet.
|
| 00:01:31 | >> Yes, mr. wong burger.
|
| 00:01:35 | >> How we gonna get out of
this, fry man?
|
| 00:01:37 | >> Well, I have an idea, but
it's not very good.
|
| 00:01:41 | >> Those dicks, will you,
please, somebody stack them
better?
|
| 00:01:43 | >> The dicks won't hold
together, mr. wong burger!
|
| 00:01:46 | >> We're gonna have to wrap
these dicks with something,
maybe with a--a dick.
|
| 00:01:52 | >> Are you telling me that i
don't know dick?
|
| 00:01:55 | If anyone knows how to build a
ship out of dicks, it is me!
|
| 00:01:58 | >> Yes, mr. wong burger.
|
| 00:02:00 | >> Because I am king dick!
|
| 00:02:01 | >> We're missing a dick for the
nose cone!
|
| 00:02:04 | >> The dick ship will never
hold together.
|
| 00:02:07 | What's taking them so long?
|
| 00:02:09 | He entered a binding legal
contract the moment he took a
sip.
|
| 00:02:12 | ..
|
| 00:02:13 | Dicking around over
there, do you?
|
| 00:02:16 | >> I doubt it.
|
| 00:02:17 | They're professional dick
hunters.
|
| 00:02:19 | They crave dick, as we all do.
|
| 00:02:24 | >> You can get up now, carl.
|
| 00:02:25 | I think we're done.
|
| 00:02:25 | >> Oh, man.
|
| 00:02:27 | >> Feel all right?
|
| 00:02:28 | >> Where'd you get these
painkillers?
|
| 00:02:29 | They're awesome.
|
| 00:02:30 | maybe you should just,
like, use pills forever.
|
| 00:02:35 | >> Yeah. you're right.
|
| 00:02:37 | This was a, uh, very bad idea.
|
| 00:02:39 | >> Hey, carlina, wow!
|
| 00:02:41 | >> Oh. I get it.
|
| 00:02:42 | you put me under, dressed
me like a woman, took pictures
of me.
|
| 00:02:46 | Laugh's on me, huh?
|
| 00:02:47 | >> Well, no, carl.
|
| 00:02:48 | See--heh--uh, you're not just
dressed like a woman.
|
| 00:02:54 | >> Oh, do go on, please.
|
| 00:02:55 | >> Well, it's pretty simple
really.
|
| 00:02:57 | I removed your dick so no one
will have no need to remove it.
|
| 00:03:00 | >> So the giant blood stain is,
uh--what is that, me having my
period, I guess?
|
| 00:03:05 | Heh heh!
|
| 00:03:05 | >> It could be, or it could be
just the spot where I snipped
your dick off.
|
| 00:03:10 | >> You're taking this pretty
good, carl.
|
| 00:03:13 | Kudos.
|
| 00:03:14 | >> Seems like this whole thing
kind of defeats the purpose,
you know?
|
| 00:03:17 | >> Yep.
|
| 00:03:18 | And what I just did was a very
bad idea.
|
| 00:03:20 | >> You think, uh, maybe i
could, uh, have my dick back?
|
| 00:03:22 | Oh, wait. you know what?
|
| 00:03:23 | Maybe you should keep my dick
so you could, uh,
hump yourself!
|
| 00:03:28 | >> Technically, that would not
be, uh, doing yourself, just
for the record.
|
| 00:03:32 | >> Hey, carl. look at that.
|
| 00:03:33 | You can still pick your dick
out of the garbage.
|
| 00:03:36 | >> Is that it?
|
| 00:03:36 | Is that mine?
|
| 00:03:37 | Of course it is.
|
| 00:03:38 | It's got that curve to the left.
|
| 00:03:39 | No, no, no!
|
| 00:03:41 | Why'd you let them take it?
|
| 00:03:43 | >> Hang on, hang on, hang on.
|
| 00:03:44 | I have a better plan.
|
| 00:03:45 | Meatwad, you got a big dick,
right?
|
| 00:03:47 | huge, but I need
it for tonight.
|
| 00:03:50 | >> But it's detachable, so that
helps us.
|
| 00:03:53 | >> No!
|
| 00:03:54 | No way I'm having a dick made
of hamburger.
|
| 00:03:56 | >> I'm not giving it to you.
|
| 00:03:57 | >> Good because I don't need it
because I'm huge between the
legs!
|
| 00:04:02 | >> Who wants to see my dick?
|
| 00:04:03 | [Grease squishing]
see?
|
| 00:04:07 | Dick nixon.
|
| 00:04:08 | Old tricky dick.
|
| 00:04:10 | >> I have another idea.
|
| 00:04:11 | >> All the dicks are polished,
sir.
|
| 00:04:13 | >> Probably needs just a couple
more dick rotors, maybe a dick
wheel or two.
|
| 00:04:19 | >> Yes, mr. wong burger!
|
| 00:04:21 | >> And, uh, do we have to fuel
it up with some dicks?
|
| 00:04:24 | we got a full tank of
dicks.
|
| 00:04:27 | >> Full tank. good, good, good.
|
| 00:04:29 | Wall-to-wall dick carpeting?
|
| 00:04:30 | you've mentioned that,
mr. wong burger.
|
| 00:04:34 | >> Agh! dicks!
|
| 00:04:35 | Everywhere I turn, it's dicks!
|
| 00:04:36 | >> Intruders!
|
| 00:04:39 | Stop them!
|
| 00:04:40 | >> Close the dick gate!
|
| 00:04:45 | >> What are you doing touching
my dicks?
|
| 00:04:47 | >> You can't just run around,
ripping off people's dicks to
make a giant dickship.
|
| 00:04:51 | Advanced degree in
dicknology!
|
| 00:04:53 | >> You're a madman, wong burger!
|
| 00:04:55 | This ship will never fly.
|
| 00:04:56 | >> Well, how else am I supposed
to get home?
|
| 00:05:00 | >> Call someone to pick you up.
|
| 00:05:06 | >> I will.
|
| 00:05:09 | you don't know
which one of these is carl's.
|
| 00:05:11 | >> It don't matter.
|
| 00:05:12 | Just get one.
|
| 00:05:13 | >> You grab one.
|
| 00:05:14 | I'm not touching those dicks.
|
| 00:05:16 | >> Hopefully, the swelling in
your chest should go down once
the testosterone fully
circulates around your body.
|
| 00:05:22 | >> Ohh.
|
| 00:05:23 | What about my voice?
|
| 00:05:25 | I added a third testicle
to speed up the process.
|
| 00:05:27 | I'll have to cut it out later.
|
| 00:05:29 | Otherwise, you'd just go insane
with rage.
|
| 00:05:31 | >> Whoa! check it out!
|
| 00:05:32 | Somebody's suing wong burger!
|
| 00:05:34 | >> Wong burger could not be
reached for comment as he left
the press conference in a giant
spaceship made of dicks, which
crashed into a building made of
dicks.
|
| 00:05:45 | Apparently that's what the
building was made of, if you've
ever seen it from the
interstate.
|
| 00:05:49 | ..
|
| 00:05:53 | Total, uh--you know, a total,
..
|
| 00:05:59 | Uh, what's the word I'm looking
for here?
|
| 00:06:01 | ..uh...
|
| 00:06:04 | ..
|
| 00:06:05 | >> While you guys are busy
wasting, I found a perfectly
good hot dog in the trash
sitting right on top of two
soggy walnuts.
|
| 00:06:16 | Mm.
|
| 00:06:17 | Still in the wrapper.
|
| 00:06:18 | I mean, there's hair on them,
but, hey, a little brush off.
|
| 00:06:21 | Delicious.
|
| 00:06:22 | Mm.
|
| 00:06:23 | This tastes like blood.
|
| 00:06:25 | Wow!
|
| 00:06:26 | This hot dog.
|
| 00:06:29 | I think the gum is blood
flavored.
|
| 00:06:31 | Wait.
|
| 00:06:33 | Yeah. definitely blood flavored.
|
| 00:06:35 | [Captioning made possible by
turner entertainment group]
[captioned by the national
captioning institute
it always pays to double-check.
|
| 00:07:17 | ( yips )
..
|
| 00:07:19 | To make sure you're savingall you can on
car insurance.
|
| 00:07:22 | Like a good neighbor,state farm is there.
|
| 00:07:27 | car.
|
| 00:07:27 | I'll give you $500 off.
|
| 00:07:30 | Great. show me the carfax.
|
| 00:07:33 | I'll throw in the oil changes.
|
| 00:07:34 | How about you show me the carfax?
|
| 00:07:35 | Is there anything I can do to put you in
this car today?
|
| 00:07:39 | ( laughs ) OKAY. JUST SHOW ME THE CARFAX.
|
| 00:07:41 | Anything else?
|
| 00:07:44 | ..
|
| 00:07:45 | Can help you choosea great used car.
|
| 00:07:47 | Learn about accidents,service records,
and previous ownersreported to carfax.
|
| 00:07:51 | It's free at thousandsof reputable dealers.
|
| 00:07:54 | "
..
|
| 00:08:01 | ..
|
| 00:08:02 | ..
|
| 00:08:04 | And sauteed onions.
|
| 00:08:05 | ..
|
| 00:08:07 | Whoopdee! before somebody else does.
|
| 00:08:09 | ♪ You know when it's real ♪
|
| 00:09:27 | Male Announcer ] RIGHT NOW,A HANDFUL OF QUARTERS
Is all you need to turn "just another boring
wednesday night"
into pizza hut50¢¢ wing wednesday.
|
| 00:09:34 | Every wing. every flavor.
|
| 00:09:35 | Every wednesday. just 50¢¢ each.
|
| 00:09:38 | And only at your pizza hut.
|
| 00:09:41 | ♪♪ ♪♪
|
| 00:10:39 | [captioning made possible by
turner entertainment group]
>> lord in heaven,
have him call me.
|
| 00:11:19 | [Sighs]
satan in hell, make him call me.
|
| 00:11:28 | Why doesn't he call?
|
| 00:11:29 | [Ring]
ah!
|
| 00:11:31 | [Ring]
clay?
|
| 00:11:36 | Huh, just a lucky guess.
|
| 00:11:39 | What's up?
|
| 00:11:40 | Ooh, sure, I'll be there in 10.
|
| 00:11:43 | Now, which one of you little
guys did this for me?
|
| 00:11:47 | Cootchie cootchie coo.
|
| 00:11:49 | ..
|
| 00:11:51 | So, how's work, clay?
|
| 00:11:53 | >> Well, you know,
pays the bills.
|
| 00:11:55 | >> Mmm, I'll be it does.
|
| 00:11:57 | Heh heh.
|
| 00:11:58 | >> Oh, it does.
|
| 00:12:00 | Believe you me.
|
| 00:12:02 | >> Keeps you occupied, I'll bet.
|
| 00:12:06 | Hmm?
|
| 00:12:07 | >> Yeah, keeps me busy as a
little male beaver.
|
| 00:12:11 | >> Mmm, my kind of beaver.
|
| 00:12:13 | Heh heh.
|
| 00:12:16 | >> Dolly, can we settle up?
|
| 00:12:18 | I should go.
|
| 00:12:20 | >> Great.
|
| 00:12:22 | >> Yarn, yarn, yarn, yarn,
yarn, yarn!
|
| 00:12:27 | [Humming]
my, you're working late.
|
| 00:12:33 | ..
|
| 00:12:34 | >> Dead end job, mm-hmm.
|
| 00:12:41 | >> ♪♪ I'll miss you
when you coming home?
|
| 00:12:46 | Where you been to?
|
| 00:12:48 | You can telephone
is this the time when
supposed to find it now
I've got enough friends
just to pass the time
I kissed you on a saturday
I miss you even more today ♪♪
|
| 00:13:19 | >> yes, well, the lord's logic
is very complex when it comes to
hating nipples.
|
| 00:13:24 | You see, with men, he--
hello.
|
| 00:13:27 | >> Danielle?
|
| 00:13:28 | >> They never make these loose
enough down south.
|
| 00:13:31 | >> Oh?
|
| 00:13:33 | >> Bought these in argentina.
|
| 00:13:34 | Heh heh heh.
|
| 00:13:37 | >> So, reverend, can you give me
a scoop on what the sermon's
about today?
|
| 00:13:41 | >> I think I'm gonna call an
audible this week, orel, for our
special guest.
|
| 00:13:46 | >> Exciting.
|
| 00:13:47 | >> Homosexuality.
|
| 00:13:50 | >> [Collective gasp]
>> not only is it the
biggest sin out there,
it's just plain unfair.
|
| 00:13:54 | Men with men?
|
| 00:13:56 | Are you kidding me?
|
| 00:13:57 | Ha!
|
| 00:13:58 | Try not to lose your virginity
under those circumstances.
|
| 00:14:01 | I mean, you cut out women and
you cut out teasing and shelling
out cash for expensive dinners
and nagging.
|
| 00:14:07 | In fact, gay men would have it
made in the shade if it weren't
for one thing:
God hates 'em.
|
| 00:14:14 | Why?
|
| 00:14:15 | Because they can't multiply.
|
| 00:14:17 | Seriously.
|
| 00:14:18 | As hard as they kiss and press
their stupid bodies together,
they're never going to squeeze a
baby out of each other.
|
| 00:14:24 | I'm telling you, it's a joke.
|
| 00:14:25 | And guess who's the only
one laughing.
|
| 00:14:27 | >> Satan.
|
| 00:14:28 | >> Satan, that's right.
|
| 00:14:30 | In fact, he makes it happen.
|
| 00:14:31 | >> Hmm?
|
| 00:14:33 | Let's do this.
|
| 00:14:38 | >> [Laughter]
>> coach stopframe?
|
| 00:14:42 | >> Oh, hi, orel.
|
| 00:14:43 | >> Whatcha got there?
|
| 00:14:44 | >> Mmm, nothing, just a picture.
|
| 00:14:47 | Oh, hey, orel, do you think that
you could get me a little bit of
|
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