| 00:02:26 | !!
|
| 00:02:27 | !!
|
| 00:02:29 | Put it down, you [bleep]!
|
| 00:02:36 | >> Put the golf club down, you
crazy bitch!
|
| 00:02:43 | >> You a mother [bleep].
|
| 00:02:43 | I never should have never
married-a you!
|
| 00:02:45 | >> You're overreacting, you
stupid swedish cow!
|
| 00:02:47 | >> Then a why the [bleepñ] are
you a getting the text messages
from some low-life hooker on
thanksgiving?
|
| 00:02:54 | >> God shut up!
|
| 00:02:54 | Shut up!
|
| 00:02:56 | !
|
| 00:02:58 | >> Oh, yeah, take more vicodin,
tiger!
|
| 00:03:00 | That'll help!
|
| 00:03:04 | >> Will you just listen to me?
|
| 00:03:05 | >> Listen to this!
|
| 00:03:05 | >> Ahghg!
|
| 00:03:06 | You [bleep] whore!
|
| 00:03:09 | >> Where the [bleep] do you
think you're going?
|
| 00:03:13 | >> I'm getting the [bleep] away
from you!
|
| 00:03:18 | >> Open the door, you mother
[bleep]!
|
| 00:03:22 | >> Ooh!
|
| 00:03:23 | Yeah, chase after me in the car,
kenny!
|
| 00:03:25 | >> What are you guys doing?
|
| 00:03:26 | >> Dude, check it out.
|
| 00:03:28 | It's ea sports tiger woods pga
tour 11 for xbox.
|
| 00:03:33 | >> Hag!
|
| 00:03:42 | [Bleep] you [bleep]!
|
| 00:03:43 | >> Stop breaking through the
window, kenny!
|
| 00:03:44 | >> Woo, I'm gonna crash!
|
| 00:03:44 | I'm gonna crash!
|
| 00:03:45 | >> Look what you did, you crazy
[bleep]!
|
| 00:03:46 | >> Serves a you right!
|
| 00:03:47 | You cheating a turd-a!
|
| 00:03:50 | >> Oh, dude, was that a combo
move?
|
| 00:03:54 | >> Yeah, dude, I [bleep] you up!
|
| 00:03:55 | >> Oh dude, here come the cops!
|
| 00:03:56 | We gotta lie to them!
|
| 00:03:56 | Hit x to lie!
|
| 00:03:57 | >> Wow, I didn't know golf games
were this cool!
|
| 00:04:00 | >> Yeah, dude, ea sports outdid
themselves this time.
|
| 00:04:08 | >> I've gathered you together
here because you are the best
minds our country has to offer.
|
| 00:04:10 | As you have all seen on the
news, our country is facing a
major crisis.
|
| 00:04:18 | And we need to find out what's
causing it.
|
| 00:04:19 | Why!
|
| 00:04:19 | Why are rich successful men
suddenly going out and trying to
have sex with lots of women.
|
| 00:04:24 | >> Tiger woods was only the most
prevalent, but our data shows
that the numbers are growing.
|
| 00:04:28 | David letterman, and before that
bill clinton.
|
| 00:04:30 | There is a pattern here, people.
|
| 00:04:32 | >> Why would a man who's famous
and makes tons of money use that
to try and have sex with lots of
different women?
|
| 00:04:40 | It defies logic.
|
| 00:04:40 | >> And these rich celebrities
have perfectly good wives at
home!
|
| 00:04:43 | Why would they even think of sex
with others?
|
| 00:04:44 | Dammit --
I want answers.
|
| 00:04:51 | >> We believe that it may be an
outbreak of sex addiction, sir.
|
| 00:04:53 | >> Sex a woo-hoo?
|
| 00:04:56 | >> It's a new phenomena we don't
completely understand yet.
|
| 00:04:59 | But it seems to make people --
different.
|
| 00:05:01 | Of course, we all know the
normal healthy male thinks only
of sex occasionally and has no
desire for sex with multiple
partners.
|
| 00:05:07 | >> Naturally.
|
| 00:05:07 | >> Right.
|
| 00:05:08 | >> Of course.
|
| 00:05:09 | >> Like me, yes --
>> definitely true.
|
| 00:05:11 | >> Yes, we all know that, go on.
|
| 00:05:13 | >> But in the sex addict, their
entire lives are consumed with
thoughts of wanting more and
more.
|
| 00:05:17 | The mere sight of an attractive
woman can make him think about
sex with her.
|
| 00:05:22 | >> But what about love?
|
| 00:05:24 | How could tons of fame and money
make you forget about love?
|
| 00:05:29 | >> What could be causing this
outbreak of sexual addiction?
|
| 00:05:32 | >> It could be caused by
something in the water supply.
|
| 00:05:35 | Perhaps even by global warming.
|
| 00:05:36 | >> Or cooling.
|
| 00:05:36 | >> Yes.
|
| 00:05:38 | >> If so, then the disease could
start to affect our children.
|
| 00:05:41 | >> That does it.
|
| 00:05:45 | I want health screenings at all
our nation's schools.
|
| 00:05:48 | We need to find out if any young
people might be carrying this
disease.
|
| 00:05:53 | >> Good afternoon, students.
|
| 00:05:54 | We are going to be doing a
health screening today.
|
| 00:05:57 | >> It won't take long, and will
be relatively painless, but we
need to see if any students are
showing symptoms.
|
| 00:06:04 | >> In a moment, I am going to
show you a suggestive picture,
and then I am going to ask you a
question about the picture.
|
| 00:06:09 | Alright.
|
| 00:06:10 | Ready?
|
| 00:06:11 | Here we go.
|
| 00:06:15 | >> Woa.
|
| 00:06:15 | >> Ew!
|
| 00:06:15 | >> What?
|
| 00:06:16 | >> Woo-hoo!
|
| 00:06:17 | >> Jesus, dude --
>> holy moly.
|
| 00:06:19 | What's that between the lady's
legs?
|
| 00:06:21 | It's all bushy!
|
| 00:06:23 | >> Please just study the picture
the best you can, students.
|
| 00:06:26 | I will then ask a question which
you will answer on the paper
provided.
|
| 00:06:28 | >> I never seen that part of a
lady!
|
| 00:06:30 | Do they all got a hedge like
that?
|
| 00:06:31 | Do they?
|
| 00:06:32 | >> Okay, very good.
|
| 00:06:37 | >> Now, what color -- was the
handkerchief in the nice lady's
hand?
|
| 00:06:40 | Write down your answer please.
|
| 00:06:42 | What color was the handkerchief
in the nice the lady's hand.
|
| 00:06:47 | >> Did you see the bush on that
lady?
|
| 00:06:48 | What the heck was that?
|
| 00:06:50 | >> Very good.
|
| 00:06:51 | Turn your answers over, please.
|
| 00:06:54 | >> Gee wiz, it was like almost
up to her belly button.
|
| 00:06:57 | >> Alright, now.
|
| 00:06:58 | Who answered that the
handkerchief was yellow?
|
| 00:07:01 | Very good.
|
| 00:07:02 | Very good indeed.
|
| 00:07:05 | Now I'd like to see, who
'
ah ha.
|
| 00:07:16 | You three boys, please come with
me.
|
| 00:07:19 | >> I didn't see a handkerchief.
|
| 00:07:20 | Did you see a handkerchief
kenny?
|
| 00:07:23 | >> [Bleep] no, I wasn't looking
at a handkerchief!
|
| 00:07:28 | >> I'm sorry boys, but I'm
afraid you three have tested
positive for sex addiction.
|
| 00:07:31 | >> What?
|
| 00:07:32 | >> Oh no!
|
| 00:07:36 | >> Who [bleep] cares.
|
| 00:07:36 | >> We are going to have to send
you home, I'm afraid.
|
| 00:07:38 | >> Wait, we're sex addicts?
|
| 00:07:39 | Are you sure?
|
| 00:07:41 | >> Our nice lady with a
handkerchief test is extremely
comprehensive and thorough.
|
| 00:07:44 | I'm sorry, but you are simply
too dangerous to have around
normal, well-adjusted students.
|
| 00:07:48 | .. so big and
bushy, sir!
|
| 00:07:51 | Why does it look like that?
|
| 00:07:53 | >> So what happens to us now?
|
| 00:07:57 | >> A life of desperation and
anguish, I'm afraid.
|
| 00:07:59 | Your addiction will start off
slowly, magazines, internet
sites.
|
| 00:08:02 | But then as you keep chasing
your high your tastes will get
more and more dangerous.
|
| 00:08:06 | Most likely you will end up
going the way of david carradine
and michael hutchence.
|
| 00:08:10 | Autoerotic asphyxiation.
|
| 00:08:11 | >> Autoerotic asphyxiation?
|
| 00:08:14 | What's that?
|
| 00:08:15 | >> I don't want to go into too
much detail, but you choke
yourself with a belt around your
neck, while masturbating,
dressed up like batman or
something.
|
| 00:08:21 | Then you pass out from lack of
air, and apparently it makes
your orgasm super awesome.
|
| 00:08:26 | >> Really?
|
| 00:08:26 | >> Oh no.
|
| 00:08:28 | I don't wanna have to buy a
batman costume!
|
| 00:08:33 | >> Ladies and gentlemen, for the
past several days we have been
screening our nation's schools
for signs of sex addition.
|
| 00:08:39 | The results of our tests are
troubling to say the least.
|
| 00:08:41 | Doctor tonton?
|
| 00:08:47 | >> In fourth graders, 5% of male
students were found to be sex
addicts.
|
| 00:08:50 | By sixth grade, the number goes
up to 30%!
|
| 00:08:51 | At high schools, nearly 91% of
male students answered 'what
'
>> we are facing a sex addiction
epidemic in our country.
|
| 00:09:01 | Young people all over america
are infected and at an extreme
risk to themselves and to the
people around them.
|
| 00:09:08 | They are leading lives of secret
pain.
|
| 00:09:12 | >> And so these infected boys
will soon be secretly wishing
they could be having sex all the
time with lots of different
people?
|
| 00:09:15 | >> It appears so.
|
| 00:09:16 | >> The poor bastards.
|
| 00:09:18 | >> But what about us, normal
healthy adults?
|
| 00:09:21 | Are we at risk of exposure?
|
| 00:09:22 | >> We don't belie so.
|
| 00:09:24 | In adult males, for whatever
reason, sex addiction only seems
to be problematic amongst rich,
successful celebrities.
|
| 00:09:30 | However, we are still collecting
data.
|
| 00:09:33 | >> Why would wealth or success
cause a man to go out and have
sex with everyone he could?
|
| 00:09:40 | >> Whatever is causing this
outbreak we guarantee we will
find it.
|
| 00:09:43 | >> Kenny, it's time for dinner!
|
| 00:09:46 | Kenny?
|
| 00:09:50 | (Gasp)
ahgh!
|
| 00:09:53 | >> Sunset and evening star, and
one clear call for me!
|
| 00:09:58 | And may there be no moaning of
the bar, when I put out to sea.
|
| 00:10:01 | >> Oh my god, it's true.
|
| 00:10:03 | >> But such a tide as moving
seems asleep, too full for sound
and foam, when that which drew
from out the boundless deep.
|
| 00:10:10 | >> There!
|
| 00:10:11 | It was like that!
|
| 00:10:12 | It looked just like that!
|
| 00:10:16 | Just like this but smaller!
|
| 00:10:19 | And right in the place her
underwear shoulda been!
|
| 00:10:23 | (Pulling off some twigs)
if I trim it down, it'll look
right.
|
| 00:10:24 | >> Butters, butters, stop it!
|
| 00:10:25 | >> But this is what I keep
seeing in my head!
|
| 00:10:27 | (Grabbing it)
>> butters, we are sick, don't
you get it?
|
| 00:10:29 | We're going to end up just like
kenny!
|
| 00:10:30 | >> No, if I can just see it
again I'll be fine!
|
| 00:10:31 | >> No!
|
| 00:10:32 | Butters stop!
|
| 00:10:33 | >> Agh!
|
| 00:10:34 | Leave me alone!
|
| 00:10:35 | >> Stop it!
|
| 00:10:35 | Stop!
|
| 00:10:37 | > Wahg --
>> oh god!
|
| 00:10:41 | Oh god, help us!
|
| 00:10:42 | !!
|
| 00:11:00 | wantsa
dollars.
|
| 00:11:01 | We don't go lower than 130.
|
| 00:11:03 | Big deal, persuade him.
|
| 00:11:07 | Okay. $65 for tonight.
|
| 00:11:10 | You can't arguewith a big deal.
|
| 00:11:12 | Introducing big deal days,
get an exclusive sneak peakat recent winning
hotel bids
to help you save up to half off.
|
| 00:11:19 | And get your big hotel deal now.
|
| 00:11:21 | Because big deal dayswon't last long at priceline.
|
| 00:11:52 | 033f&f&f2&335S3533333
>> Tiger lines up his drive.
|
| 00:12:24 | He'll be hoping for a birdie
here.
|
| 00:12:26 | Concentration is key.
|
| 00:12:29 | >> You a mother a [bleep]!
|
| 00:12:30 | I never should have married a
you!
|
| 00:12:31 | >> Ahghg!
|
| 00:12:33 | God dammit stop it!
|
| 00:12:34 | >> How many women did you
[bleep]?
|
| 00:12:36 | How many?
|
| 00:12:38 | >> Oh dude, I clocked you!
|
| 00:12:39 | >> I told you this game was
sweet, dude.
|
| 00:12:42 | >> Hang on, hang on.
|
| 00:12:43 | I'm switching to a seven iron --
>> oh!
|
| 00:12:47 | Oh!
|
| 00:12:48 | Oh, man I lost another
endorsement!
|
| 00:12:49 | How'd you do that?
|
| 00:12:50 | >> Hit a and x together.
|
| 00:12:52 | >> Round two!
|
| 00:12:53 | Fight!
|
| 00:12:56 | >> Oh!
|
| 00:12:57 | You're going down, elin!
|
| 00:12:58 | >> I don't think so dude.
|
| 00:12:59 | I got the prenup power up.
|
| 00:13:01 | >> Prenup power up!
|
| 00:13:02 | >> Oh no!
|
| 00:13:03 | >> Prenup, weak!
|
| 00:13:04 | !
|
| 00:13:08 | >> Alright, sex addicts!
|
| 00:13:10 | What other destructive behaviors
did we engage in, which lead to
our ultimate downfall?
|
| 00:13:15 | Anyone have another example?
|
| 00:13:16 | Let's see.
|
| 00:13:17 | .. david!
|
| 00:13:19 | .. having sex with
employees.
|
| 00:13:24 | >> Sex, with, employees,
definitely a danger there.
|
| 00:13:26 | What else?
|
| 00:13:32 | Mr. clinton?
|
| 00:13:33 | >> Putting cigars in girls
vaginas.
|
| 00:13:34 | >> Very good, billy.
|
| 00:13:35 | Cigars in vaginas not the best
idea there.
|
| 00:13:38 | >> Watching internet porn all
day every day?
|
| 00:13:41 | >> Spot on, charlie sheen,
excessive internet porn.
|
| 00:13:47 | Now, the reason we are making
this list is that we have new
members today!
|
| 00:13:50 | I want you all to welcome kyle
and bummers!
|
| 00:13:55 | >> Hello.
|
| 00:13:56 | >> Hey kyle.
|
| 00:13:56 | >> Hello.
|
| 00:13:57 | >> Hi kyle, butters.
|
| 00:13:58 | >> Would you care to share your
stories with us, boys?
|
| 00:14:03 | >> Well, I just found out I'm a
sex addict.
|
| 00:14:05 | I'm so scared.
|
| 00:14:06 | I haven't even told my mom yet.
|
| 00:14:08 | >> Does your mom have big tits?
|
| 00:14:09 | >> Billy!
|
| 00:14:10 | >> Sorry.
|
| 00:14:11 | .. I just can't
stop thinking about bush.
|
| 00:14:15 | >> I heard that.
|
| 00:14:17 | .. what is
it?
|
| 00:14:18 | What does it mean?
|
| 00:14:20 | Why would there be a bush right
there?
|
| 00:14:21 | Is it a live bush?
|
| 00:14:22 | Are there berries?
|
| 00:14:23 | >> Mister duchovny please stop
jerking off.
|
| 00:14:26 | >> Aww gee wiz.
|
| 00:14:29 | >> To better understand the sex
addiction outbreak, we have been
running tests on chimpanzees.
|
| 00:14:34 | You can see that this entire
community of specimens are
getting along normally, some
pairing off, others on their
own.
|
| 00:14:39 | Now, see this chimp here.
|
| 00:14:41 | An average, normal adult male.
|
| 00:14:43 | Blending in seamlessly with the
others.
|
| 00:14:44 | Now watch.
|
| 00:14:45 | We are going to give it a lot of
money.
|
| 00:14:48 | Go ahead.
|
| 00:15:10 | >> My god!
|
| 00:15:12 | >> Yes.
|
| 00:15:32 | >> The subject is now isolated
and shunned.
|
| 00:15:33 | >> Incredible.
|
| 00:15:35 | And what is it doing now?
|
| 00:15:37 | >> Making a public apology on
its talk show.
|
| 00:15:43 | >> Alrighty!
|
| 00:15:44 | Now, we all know the destructive
behavior that got us into this
predicament, don't we?
|
| 00:15:51 | What is the main thing we've all
learned to avoid?
|
| 00:15:53 | Yes, tiger!
|
| 00:15:56 | .. and alcohol?
|
| 00:15:57 | >> Ugh.
|
| 00:15:58 | >> Bargh.
|
| 00:16:00 | >> No, no, tiger.
|
| 00:16:01 | You still aren't getting it.
|
| 00:16:04 | In order to make sure we are no
longer destroying our lives with
any of these behaviors, we must
.. anyone... avoid
.. anyone?
|
| 00:16:12 | >> Caught.
|
| 00:16:13 | >> Yes, michael douglas,
everyone?
|
| 00:16:16 | >> Getting caught.
|
| 00:16:17 | >> Very good!
|
| 00:16:19 | You are all here in therapy
because you got caught!
|
| 00:16:23 | So, how to we avoid getting
caught.
|
| 00:16:24 | Ben roethlisberger.
|
| 00:16:27 | >> Don't screw girls in the
public bathrooms?
|
| 00:16:30 | >> When they ask you for money,
pay them.
|
| 00:16:31 | >> Good, yes.
|
| 00:16:33 | > Woa, woa, hang on.
|
| 00:16:34 | We shouldn't be learning how to
not get caught.
|
| 00:16:37 | We have to take responsibility
for our actions.
|
| 00:16:43 | >> What the [bleep] are you
talking about?
|
| 00:16:46 | >> Wul, I mean, we have to
accept that we have a problem
and put the blame completely on
ourselves.
|
| 00:16:52 | I mean, maybe this isn't really
even a disease.
|
| 00:17:04 | >> Yeah, it's me -- we've got a
turd in the punch bowl.
|
| 00:17:07 | I repeat, we have a turd in the
punch bowl.
|
| 00:17:14 | president, in every test
the results were the same.
|
| 00:17:17 | The monkeys who were given cash
always acted out their sexual
addiction to dangerous levels.
|
| 00:17:21 | It appears that money has a
direct affect on the virus'
ability to develop.
|
| 00:17:26 | >> So we must keep our nation's
youth away from money and
success.
|
| 00:17:29 | president,
because we've learned that sex
addicts will find ways to make
money and become successful in
order to feed their addiction.
|
| 00:17:38 | >> You mean boys will start
working towards being rich and
successful just so they can one
day have sex with lots of women?
|
| 00:17:43 | >> Yes.
|
| 00:17:45 | That's why we decided to look at
the cash itself for clues.
|
| 00:17:49 | We tried to find something in
hundred dollar bills that could
explain why this is happening
now.
|
| 00:17:53 | Then we looked at the backside
and found this.
|
| 00:17:58 | >> Independence hall, the
birthplace of our country.
|
| 00:18:02 | >> We believe something is
happening at independence hall
that gives money its power over
men.
|
| 00:18:07 | >> Independence hall,
..
|
| 00:18:13 | Gentlemen, I might know what's
causing the sex addiction
outbreak.
|
| 00:18:18 | This is highly classified, but
in 1947, a flying saucer was
discovered in roswell, new
mexico.
|
| 00:18:23 | Two deceased alien bodies were
recovered and hidden from public
knowledge.
|
| 00:18:27 | They carried a virus with them,
a virus that apparently was only
barely stopped from spreading
all over the country.
|
| 00:18:34 | >> And you think these aliens
could be back with a new virus,
one originating from
independence hall causing rich
successful men to have sex with
lots of women?
|
| 00:18:43 | >> It's the only explanation
THAT MAKES ANY SENSE. k-Z+Z+
>> I want to say that I am
deeply sorry for my
irresponsible and selfish
behavior.
|
| 00:21:43 | I know I have severely
disappointed all of you.
|
| 00:21:46 | Some have speculated that my
wife somehow hurt or attacked me
on thanksgiving night.
|
| 00:21:52 | It angers me that people would
fabricate a story like that.
|
| 00:21:54 | She has shown nothing but grace
and poise.
|
| 00:21:56 | >> You mother [bleep]!
|
| 00:21:57 | >> Oh no!
|
| 00:21:58 | >> I should have never married
you!
|
| 00:22:00 | >> Ahggh, stop it!
|
| 00:22:01 | >> A porn star?
|
| 00:22:04 | You screwed a porn star?
|
| 00:22:06 | >> Oh dude, you found another
girls phone number on my cell
phone?
|
| 00:22:08 | >> Yeah, back in that water
level.
|
| 00:22:12 | >> Is kyle still at sex
addiction therapy?
|
| 00:22:13 | That must be really intense.
|
| 00:22:19 | >> Okay, so what exactly are we
doing now?
|
| 00:22:23 | >> We are on our way to help
take care of your diseases once
and for all!
|
| 00:22:26 | >> Oh good, cuz I really can't
take it anymore.
|
| 00:22:28 | >> Don't worry.
|
| 00:22:30 | As soon as it's dead, everything
will make sense.
|
| 00:22:33 | >> As soon as what's dead?
|
| 00:22:34 | >> Ugh!
|
| 00:22:34 | >> God!
|
| 00:22:35 | >> Jesus!
|
| 00:22:37 | >> He just doesn't get it!
|
| 00:22:38 | >> The infected alien that they
just disvered is hiding out at
independence hall!
|
| 00:22:49 | >> Go, go, go!
|
| 00:22:49 | >> Move move move!
|
| 00:22:50 | >> Let's go!
|
| 00:22:53 | >> Entrance is clear, mr.
|
| 00:22:53 | President!
|
| 00:22:58 | president, you aren't
safe here, let us handle this.
|
| 00:23:00 | >> Right side clear!
|
| 00:23:01 | >> We must be careful.
|
| 00:23:03 | The alien could have cast some
kind of spell of invisibility.
|
| 00:23:07 | >> Which would mean that the
alien is also a wizard.
|
| 00:23:10 | >> Yes!
|
| 00:23:11 | It explains everything!
|
| 00:23:12 | A wizard alien would be able to
cast a spell on our species.
|
| 00:23:15 | Causing all the men to become
sex addicts.
|
| 00:23:16 | >> Enough!
|
| 00:23:18 | We have to find the wizard alien
and break his spell!
|
| 00:23:21 | >> Okay, okay.
|
| 00:23:22 | Alright, hang on guys.
|
| 00:23:24 | I mean come on, this is getting
a little ridiculous.
|
| 00:23:25 | Wizard alien?
|
| 00:23:27 | We all know what's going on
here, don't we?
|
| 00:23:31 | Whenever a story breaks about
some rich famous guy going
around and having sex with tons
of girls, we all want to act
like we don't understand it.
|
| 00:23:36 | But we do.
|
| 00:23:37 | We're guys, you know?
|
| 00:23:40 | Our brains are wired to strive
to be the alpha male and get all
the women that we can.
|
| 00:23:45 | I mean, look where we are!
|
| 00:23:46 | Even benjamin franklin screwed
everything that moved, because
he could.
|
| 00:23:51 | We don't have to condone what
these rich famous people do, but
we can at least admit that given
the same temptations and
opportunities that somebody like
tiger woods has, a lot of guys
might do something similar.
|
| 00:24:06 | >> We have a turd in the punch
bowl.
|
| 00:24:07 | >> Turd in the punch bowl.
|
| 00:24:09 | >> Hey!
|
| 00:24:09 | What are you doing?
|
| 00:24:10 | No!
|
| 00:24:10 | Come on!
|
| 00:24:11 | Where are you taking me?
|
| 00:24:13 | >> Ten city blocks have been
shut down because an alien is
believed to have taken refuge
here, in independence hall.
|
| 00:24:20 | By all accounts the alien is
also a wizard, who could very
easily be the cause of the
outbreak of sex addiction in our
country!
|
| 00:24:28 | >> Mr. president!
|
| 00:24:31 | Here they are!
|
| 00:24:34 | >> This is the boy I told you
about.
|
| 00:24:36 | And his friend, bummers.
|
| 00:24:39 | >> Son, we were told that you
think sex addition can be
controlled, that it just takes
restraint.
|
| 00:24:42 | Is that true?
|
| 00:24:45 | >> I just think I'd rather
control it instead of blame it
on anything.
|
| 00:24:49 | >> Amazing!
|
| 00:24:51 | Then the wizard alien's spell
might not have any power over
him!
|
| 00:24:53 | He could draw the bastard out!
|
| 00:24:54 | >> Quick!
|
| 00:24:55 | Give that boy a gun!
|
| 00:24:57 | >> What?
|
| 00:24:58 | >> You better take one too!
|
| 00:24:59 | >> Alright.
|
| 00:25:02 | Everyone to the stairwell!
|
| 00:25:03 | The bastard has gotta be
upstairs!
|
| 00:25:04 | >> What bastard?
|
| 00:25:05 | >> The alien wizard hiding out
here!
|
| 00:25:06 | Come on, we've got to --
>> what the hell was that?
|
| 00:25:12 | >> I got a bad feeling about
this.
|
| 00:25:15 | !!
|
| 00:25:21 | >> Oh my god, there it is!
|
| 00:25:22 | >> It's the alien wizard!
|
| 00:25:22 | >> It's gonna get you boys!
|
| 00:25:23 | Shoot it!
|
| 00:25:23 | >> Nrrrrrr!
|
| 00:25:24 | Plrrrrrs.
|
| 00:25:26 | I wom beugh trdn na munchmrwlll!
|
| 00:25:27 | >> Shoot it, boys!
|
| 00:25:28 | >> You have to shoot it!
|
| 00:25:29 | >> Aghgh!
|
| 00:25:31 | >> Shoot it again!
|
| 00:25:32 | It's still alive!
|
| 00:25:35 | >> You gotta reload!
|
| 00:25:39 | >> Keep firing boys!
|
| 00:25:41 | Shoot it in the heart!
|
| 00:25:43 | >> Keep shooting it!
|
| 00:25:45 | >> Shoot him in his blabber
mouth!
|
| 00:25:48 | >> Ahghghg!
|
| 00:25:49 | Ahghghhggh!
|
| 00:25:52 | >> My god, they've done it!
|
| 00:25:56 | >> Wrhghggh!
|
| 00:25:57 | >> Waghghgh!
|
| 00:25:58 | >> Zzzzzt!
|
| 00:25:59 | >> Look!
|
| 00:26:00 | The sex addiction!
|
| 00:26:01 | It's leaving my body!
|
| 00:26:02 | .. feel it!
|
| 00:26:02 | I'm free!
|
| 00:26:04 | >> We are healed!
|
| 00:26:11 | >> We watched as sex addiction
ran rampant through our country.
|
| 00:26:14 | It devastated families.
|
| 00:26:19 | But once again, our great
country rose up as one.
|
| 00:26:22 | The wizard alien is dead.
|
| 00:26:24 | Sex addiction is no more.
|
| 00:26:26 | And if a rich celebrity is
caught again trying to screw
lots of women, we will now know
it isn't because men are just
like that, it's because a wizard
alien has cast his mighty spell.
|
| 00:26:35 | (Cheers)
>> oh, I'm so glad it's over,
sharon, aren't you?
|
| 00:26:43 | >> We are now with the young
boys who helped stop the alien.
|
| 00:26:47 | Boys, how does it feel to be
free of your illness?
|
| 00:26:53 | >> I guess it feels great.
|
| 00:26:54 | Thanks.
|
| 00:26:54 | >> Yeah, it feels great!
|
| 00:26:55 | I never wanna see bush again!
|
| 00:26:58 | I finally paid a lady to show me
hers.
|
| 00:27:00 | You wanna know what's under that
bush?
|
| 00:27:03 | Nothin' but a pair of sick joker
lips!
|
| 00:27:05 | .. so happy... that I am
.. and no longer have any
desire to have sex with anyone,
but my beautiful wife.
|
| 00:27:16 | Now I can be faithful, and my
wife won't feel any need to get
revenge by sleeping with a bunch
of guys.
|
| 00:27:25 | So I officially announce my
return to golf!
|
| 00:27:39 | >> What the hell?
|
| 00:27:40 | This game's all boring now.
|
| 00:27:42 | >> Yeah, where's all the
fighting?
|
| 00:27:45 | >> Dude, screw this.
|
| 00:27:46 | Who wants to hit a dumb little
ball around?
|
| 00:27:48 | >> YEAH, GOLF IS STUPID AGAIN. nffnfnnnnnZif'x"'"""""DTQIáI%
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|
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