My Gym Partner's a Monkey - Mongoosed; Mellow Fellows   View more episodes

Aired at 11:30 AM on Tuesday, Sep 28, 2010 (9/28/2010)      View all transcripts from this day

Transcript

00:00:01>> Slips: Tag!
00:00:02You're it!
00:00:03[ Both laugh ] dude, that was awesome!
00:00:09You were all, like, runnin' and " [ panting ] [ screams ] [ exhales deeply ] >> yeah, you're all, like, " [ hisses ] hiss and stuff.
00:00:21>> Slips: And then, we're all, ..
00:00:23>> Both: "Roar!
00:00:25Ah! ah! ah!
00:00:26Aaaah!
00:00:28" >> [ hisses ] hiss and stuff.
00:00:34[ Both laugh ] >> Slips: Hey, dudes!
00:00:42This is my new bud carl.
00:00:45>> Adam: Hey, carl!
00:00:46>> Jake: What's up?
00:00:49[ Both chuckling ] [ both laughing ] >> Slips: Dude, did you see jake and adam when I said, "hey, dudes"?
00:00:59" >> yeah, and jake's all, like, " [ both laugh ] >> Slips:" >> Jake: Looks like slips has found a new friend.
00:01:09>> Adam: Yeah.
00:01:10And he's all, like, weird.
00:01:14>> Gills: All right, you vermin.
00:01:16We've got a special guest speaker today.
00:01:18>> Coach gills, I got a question.
00:01:20>> Gills: Yes, carl, what is it?
00:01:22" >> Gills: What?
00:01:26[ Both laugh ] >> dummy.
00:01:31>> Gills: mandrill's going to speak to you about knowing your mortal enemies.
00:01:37Mortal enemies?
00:01:38You mean like teachers and students?
00:01:40>> Uh, not quite.
00:01:47" as members of the animal kingdom, many of us have natural enemies whose onis to see us destroyed or consumed.
00:01:58There's the robin and the worm.
00:02:02The cat and the dog.
00:02:05The shark and the armadillo.
00:02:08>> Bull: [ Grunts ] >> [ gulps ] >> the harpy eagle and the monkey.
00:02:15>> Jake: Sheesh!
00:02:16I'm glad we don't have any of those birds at our school.
00:02:25[ Brakes squeal ] >> Pixiefrog: Welcome to charles darwin middle school, mr. harpy eagle.
00:02:33We've been expecting you.
00:02:34>> Monkeys! monkeys! monkeys!
00:02:37..
00:02:39The mongoose and the snake.
00:02:42[ Both gasp ] now, there's nothing bad or good about these arrangements, my little charges.
00:02:49They're simply part of nature's rich pageant of seemingly pointless violence.
00:02:57[ Both growling ] >> [ roars ] >> [ hisses ] >> boys!
00:03:23Now, what have I said about acting out our naturally murderous instincts in a classroom setting?
00:03:29>> Both: Sorry, mr. mandrill.
00:03:44[ Both growling ] [ eagle cries ] >> Jake: [ Gasps ] adam?
00:04:00Did you see that?
00:04:01>> Adam: See what?
00:04:02>> Jake: Uh, never mind.
00:04:04>> Slips: I shall fight you to the death, carl mongoose!
00:04:09Wherever you are.
00:04:11>> Hmm.
00:04:12It's interesting to witness an age-old interspecies struggle up close and personal.
00:04:16And just when you had found a new friend who giddily shared in your dim-witted high jinks.
00:04:22>> Slips:..
00:04:24I hate mongeese, man.
00:04:26>> Here you go, monsieur slips.
00:04:28Compliments of a secret admirer.
00:04:31>> Slips: Really?
00:04:33Oh, well, that's cool.
00:04:42>> Adam: Is there something alive in there?
00:04:46[ Coughing ] >> heh heh.
00:04:50You've been skunked by skunk-o-gram.
00:04:54>> Slips: Sorry, adam.
00:04:55That skunk-o-gram was meant for me.
00:04:57Carl, you diabolical scoundrel!
00:05:07[ Snickers ] >> Jake: Adam, see how much faster this is than that walking-upright thing that you have to rely on?
00:05:18>> Slips: Ha! gotcha!
00:05:19Huh?
00:05:21Oops.
00:05:22Sorry, adam.
00:05:23That was meant for carl.
00:05:25>> Jake: So, adam, where do you want me to drop you off?
00:05:29Adam?
00:05:33>> [ Cries ] >> Jake: Aah!
00:05:41>> Slips:..
00:05:42What flavor do I want?
00:05:45Ooh! brown!
00:05:47[ Beep ] [ machine rattles ] >> Adam: Hey, what's the big -- >> sorry, dude.
00:06:00That was meant for slips.
00:06:02>> Adam: That's it!
00:06:04I'm tired of those two almost killing me every time they try to kill each other!
00:06:09>> Jake: I have duct tape and ..
00:06:13For crafting.
00:06:38[ Indistinct shouting ] >> Slips: Aah!
00:06:46>> Ow!
00:06:49[ Both growling ] >> Adam: Knock it off, you two.
00:06:52Do you guys realize how ridiculous you're acting with this mortal-enemy stuff?
00:06:56>> Slips: Well, he's a mongoose.
00:06:58>> And he's a snake.
00:06:59>> Both: And this is nature.
00:07:01>> Adam: And did that mean anything to you two before mr. mandrill pointed it out?
00:07:05No!
00:07:07Now, I'm gonna undo the ropes, and I want you both to make up and be friends again.
00:07:12>> Slips: I won't do it!
00:07:13>> Me neither.
00:07:14>> Pixiefrog: And that's just fine.
00:07:16>> Adam: What?
00:07:17>> Pixiefrog: lyon, your intentions, as honorable yet entirely contrary to animal nature as they might be, are completely pointless.
00:07:25 mongoose, your parents are waiting for you in my office.
00:07:29They're withdrawing you from our little slice of heaven and enrolling you in a private all-mongoose academy.
00:07:35>> Why?
00:07:36>> Pixiefrog: The usual reason -- to show off their cash.
00:07:40Release them, mr. lyon.
00:07:48>> Slips: Dude, did you see adam?
00:07:49He's all, like, "you should " >> yeah, and pixiefrog's all, " >> Slips: Yeah.
00:07:57>> Yeah.
00:07:58>> Slips: Yeah.
00:07:59>> Yeah.
00:08:01>> Slips: Good times.
00:08:05[ Both crying ] >> I'm gonnasomiss trying to kill you, man.
00:08:15>> Slips: Me too.
00:08:18Now, get out of here, dude, before I sink my fangs into your cranium.
00:08:34[ Sniffles ] >> Jake: [ Crying ] >> Adam: Gosh, jake.
00:08:42I didn't know that carl's leaving would bother you like this.
00:08:45>> Jake: It doesn't.
00:08:46>> Adam: Then why are you crying?
00:08:48>> Jake: 'Cause there's a big harpy eagle coming right at me.
00:08:50>> [ Cries ] [ growling ] tag! you're it!
00:09:00[ Laughing ] >> Jake: He seems nice.
00:09:09Hey!
00:09:10Wait for me, buddy!
00:09:11[ Both screaming and laughing ] >> Adam: After a whole day of everyone finding their natural enemies, turned out I don't even have one.
00:10:47ooóóóóó That dog's a blood hound.
00:11:04So if that "g" is amessage from gilbert, ..
00:11:08[Dog barking] she should lead us right to it!
00:11:11No, no!
00:11:12Ohh!
00:11:13Ah!
00:11:15[Dog barking] he must be in there.
00:11:19All: Gilbert!
00:11:20[Dog barking] what's that?
00:11:23Probably wants his fur back.
00:11:24Forget it! it's mine now.
00:11:27Goldfish crackers.
00:11:28Always baked and made with real cheese.
00:11:29♪ The snack thatsmiles back ♪
00:11:31goldfish.
00:11:33turns ♪
00:11:35It's the Sky Racers Dare DevilRacing Team and the Sky Racers Carrieris where it all happens !
00:11:41You can turn the pilots toraise the elevator ( click, click ) and rotate the runway. ( click, click ) Sky Racers Twister... ( click, click ) Tornado Prop ( propellers spinning ) Tiger Shark and Twin Eagle.
00:11:50Can you launch the buoys ?
00:11:51Avoid the flares... then race to the finish line ?
00:11:54( flying sounds ) ♪ Imaginext turnson the adventures... ♪♪♪
00:11:58Yeah ! Yeah !
00:11:58Nice flying, ace !
00:11:59Imaginext Sky Racers CarrierTcomes as shown.
00:12:01Other planes sold separately.
00:12:03What had happened in central harlem was failure became the norm.
00:12:06.. the healthcare ..
00:12:09Gangs were prevalent. violence was all over.
00:12:11Families were falling apart.
00:12:13You can't raise children in a community like that.
00:12:15People had been talking about things, t not doing anything.
00:12:19.. how are you?
00:12:20I'm doing great, how 'bout you?
00:12:21Right here on 119th street.
00:12:22If we could fix this block, then we could fix the next block, ..
00:12:26We promised parents, if your child stays with us, I guarantee you that child is going to graduate from college.
00:12:32Failure is simply not an option.
00:12:33..the seventy... the eighty...
00:12:35The ninety-seven blocks which ends up being 10,000 children.
00:12:39We start with children from birth, and stay with those children until they graduate.
00:12:45If you really want to have an impact that is large, you will get there going one step at a time.
00:12:51There is no act that is too small to make a difference.
00:12:55No matter whatyou want to do, members projectfrom american express can help you takethe first step.
00:12:59Vote, volunteer or donateat membersproject.com.
00:13:19>> Adam: Hey, jake.
00:13:20What are you -- >> Jake: Is this glass half full or half empty?
00:13:23>> Adam:..
00:13:24>> Jake: Wrong!
00:13:26Half empty.
00:13:26>> Adam: Jake, i-i -- >> Jake: When life hands you lemons, you make "a" -- fruit punch, "b" --tropical fruit punch, "c" -- a new friend at a rock concert?
00:13:36>> Adam: Jake, I told you those personality tests don't work.
00:13:41>> Jake: Wrong again!
00:13:42Which gives you a personality ..
00:13:452.
00:13:46Socially awkward, prone to fits ..
00:13:48>> Adam: [ Growls ] >> Jake:..And depression.
00:13:50>> Adam: [ Moans ] >> Jake: Worst case I've ever seen.
00:13:53>> Slips:..guys.
00:13:58[ Foghorn blares ] >> Jake: O-o-okay.
00:14:02Second-worst case.
00:14:02>> Adam: Gee, slips, what's wrong?
00:14:04>> Jake: You have that dream about the lawn mower and the jelly doughnuts again?
00:14:08>> Adam: Oh, come on.
00:14:08It can't be -- >> yes, it's that bad.
00:14:12>> He's been like this ever since jesterday.
00:14:18>> Warthog: "Congratulations, " what's your name, kid?
00:14:24>> Slips: Slips.
00:14:25>> Warthog: Congratulations, spits.
00:14:27[ Crowd cheering ] out of 3,452 students, you've won the grand prize -- an entire day with me in my office.
00:14:39>> Slips: Oh, whoa, dude.
00:14:40>> Warthog: Who you callin' "dude"?
00:14:42>> Slips: Well, I -- >> Warthog: Never mind.
00:14:44I like it.
00:14:45Now get busy filing these records.
00:14:50>> Adam: Gee.
00:14:52Poor slips.
00:14:53>> No, helovedit.
00:14:55And when he finished all that ..
00:15:00Good.
00:15:01>> He kept mumbling about found meaning in his life.
00:15:04>> Ingrid: Jake, do you think maybe your personality test can help?
00:15:09>> Jake: The first thing people ..
00:15:12..
00:15:13..
00:15:14..
00:15:16Or none of the above?
00:15:18>> Adam: No, no, jake.
00:15:19I think slips needsprofessional help.
00:15:22>> Jake:..
00:15:25What do you mean?
00:15:25>> Adam: Slips needs to talk to mr. mandrill.
00:15:28>> Jake: Oh.
00:15:31[ Calm sitar music plays ] >> oh, slips.
00:15:43They told me you'd be coming.
00:15:45>> Slips: Who told you?
00:15:47..
00:15:49The voices in the ceiling.
00:15:51>> [ Gags ] >> Slips: Whoa.
00:15:57>> Now, what you're feeling is very common.
00:16:00Tell me, have you ever been to the circus?
00:16:02>> Slips:..
00:16:06No.
00:16:07>> I just love the circus, especially the dancing elephants.
00:16:11[ Whooping ] and, of course, the circus .
00:16:16[ Sniffles ] ...i just can't figure out how they get the salt inside the shell!
00:16:22[ Cuckoo ] [ cuckoo ] well, that's all we have time for today.
00:16:27>> Slips: Wait!
00:16:28I didn't come here today to talk about circus elephants or salted peanuts.
00:16:34I came here 'cause ever since my warthog ended, i felt a profound lack of purpose in my life.
00:16:42>> Wow.
00:16:44Good self-diagnosis.
00:16:46Very good.
00:16:47Yes, yes, yes.
00:16:48Say, why don't you stick around and learn to be a guidance counselor, like me?
00:16:56So, tell me, do you like action-adventure movies or are you strictly a comedy man?
00:17:01>> Pixiefrog: Well, actually, my mother never let me go to the movies -- said everything went down hill after "empire strikes " >> a-and movie-ticket prices -- do you find ever!
00:17:15Not to mention all those pre-movie commercials.
00:17:17>> Perhaps you should try the circus instead.
00:17:20[ Whooping ] >> Pixiefrog: Right.
00:17:24>> Get it, slips?
00:17:25>> Slips: Uh, yeah, like, between his mother and his brother, our principal is clearly suffering from classic sibling-rivalry syndrome.
00:17:37Aggravated by being severely deprived of the moviegoing experience.
00:17:45..
00:17:45[ Chuckles ] ..
00:17:49>> Pixiefrog:..
00:17:51True.
00:17:54..
00:17:55Cured.
00:17:56..
00:17:57But that's impossible.
00:17:58He-he's not even certified.
00:18:00>> Warthog: Congratulations, spits.
00:18:02You're now a certified guidance counselor.
00:18:06>> Bull: You mean to say that the reason I steal my classmates' lunches is ..
00:18:10[ Growls ] ...i hate the tuna fish that my mom makes me?
00:18:14And I just don't have the heart to tell her?
00:18:16>> Slips: Um, yeah.
00:18:17>> Bull: [ Deep voice ] thanks, doc.
00:18:19I amsocured.
00:18:22>> And me, doc?
00:18:23You say I got me a boring personality 'cause I was born that way, and there ain't nothing I can do about it?
00:18:30>> Slips: Um, yeah.
00:18:31>> Well, I'll be a hot dog on a cold day.
00:18:35[ Deep voice ] I'M CURED, Doctor.
00:18:38>> I no longer feel like a broken person.
00:18:42I've been made whole.
00:18:45>> I feel like the best me that I can be.
00:18:48[ Indistinct conversations ] >> Adam:..Happy?
00:18:52>> Jake: Haven't you heard?
00:18:53Slips is solving all our problems.
00:18:57>> Yes, it seems he's discovered a new life purpose.
00:19:01>> Ingrid: Yeah.
00:19:03Slips cured me of my shyness with boys.
00:19:06>> Adam: That's nice.
00:19:08>> He cured me of my irrational fear of french toast.
00:19:12>> Ingrid: French toast?
00:19:13>> Jes.
00:19:14With syrup coming to get me!
00:19:17>> Slips has cured me of my fear of the common house cat -- better known as ailurophobia.
00:19:22Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.
00:19:26That's funny.
00:19:27They usually -- >> [ meows ] [ cats meowing ] >> you see?
00:19:33There's nothing to be afraid of.
00:19:35>> Jake: I have been cured of the incessant need to make cracks about my butt for a cheap laugh -- better known as butt cracks.
00:19:41[ Whoops ] >> no, no, no, people.
00:19:44Personal growth isn't about quick fixes and instant gratification.
00:19:49The road torealgrowth is a slow,excruciatingjourney paved with metaphors, haikus, ..facsimiles.
00:19:59Come!
00:20:00Join me in my office, and let's begin.
00:20:03>> Adam: So, slips, you say if I stop whining about being the only human here, I'll be happy?
00:20:09>> Slips: Yeah.
00:20:10>> Adam: [ Deep voice ] I'm cured, too!
00:20:12>> All: Yay!
00:20:13>> [ Moans ] >> aar!
00:20:20Mandrill, if you want to help people, you gotta fight harder.
00:20:25>> Who said that?
00:20:26>> It be, me, the voice in the ceilin'.
00:20:29What you need to do is upgrade your image.
00:20:32>> You mean, like, lose the ponytail?
00:20:36>> No, no, no! put it back!
00:20:38Put it back!
00:20:39I mean upgrade this office, you idiot.
00:20:42You know, make it more kid-friendly.
00:20:45>> Hmm.
00:20:45I think you're onto something.
00:20:47>> Of course I'm onto something!
00:20:49You don't get to be a voice in the ceilin' for nothin', arr!
00:20:53[ Indistinct conversation ] >> attention, growth-seekers.
00:20:56You're just in time to attend the grand opening of my new offic-c-c-e!
00:21:09..
00:21:11..
00:21:12[ Meows ] ..
00:21:16..
00:21:18..
00:21:20>> [ Farts ] >> battle the mosh beast in the ..
00:21:28Oh! and a skateboard, arr.
00:21:30>> [ British accent ] SO, Governor, you says that there office is a bad thing 'cause it's full of obstacles and distractions on our heroic journey to inner peace and joy, by crackety-crack-crack?
00:21:40>> Slips: Um, yeah.
00:21:40>> [ Deep voice ] SLIPS HAS DONE It again.
00:21:42>> All: We're cured!
00:21:53>> Adam: Hey, mr. man.
00:21:55Where ya goin'?
00:21:56>> I'm going back to kentucky to grow mixed vegetables, and there's nothing you and your furry, little friends can say about it -- except, of course, something like, "don't go.
00:22:05" that'd probably do it.
00:22:06>> Adam: But wedoneed you, mr. mandrill.
00:22:08>> Yeah.
00:22:09>> Yes, mr. mandrill.
00:22:10I need you more than they do.
00:22:12>> Jake: Turns out, since slips solved all our problems, our lives are painfully dull.
00:22:17>> Adam: Yeah.
00:22:18And boring.
00:22:19>> And redundant.
00:22:20>> Ingrid: Besides, my face hurts from smiling so much.
00:22:24>> Mine, too.
00:22:25>> So you want me to bring back your problems?
00:22:28>> Jake: It's what you're good at.
00:22:30>> I'll do it!
00:22:31>> All: Yay!
00:22:32>> Of course, I'll have to stop slips from counseling.
00:22:35And I warn you, if slips shows me up one more time, I'm gonna totally freak out.
00:22:40>> Adam: Aw, relax.
00:22:42He won't show you up again.
00:22:45>> So, you see, slips, you're just too young to be a guidance counselor.
00:22:48>> Slips: You mean to say that I'm subverting my own latent desires by latching onto yours?
00:22:55>> No, that's not quite -- aaaah!
00:22:57...What I said.
00:22:58>> Slips: But it is what you meant, right?
00:23:01[ Echoing ] WHAT YOU MEANT, Right?
00:23:03Right?
00:23:05Right?
00:23:05>> Adam: Don't worry.
00:23:07..
00:23:09..
00:23:10..
00:23:12>> Jake:..
00:23:14..
00:23:15..
00:23:25>> [ Whooping ] I'm freakin' out.
00:23:29[ '60s POP MUSIC PLAYS ] >> Wow.
00:23:34Guidance-counselor freak-outs aregroo.
00:23:37>> Jake: [ Whooping ] >> Warthog: Far out. dig it.
00:23:48Hey, what's the matter, spits?
00:23:51>> Slips: Well, after seeing mandrill freak out like th realized that the fast-paced world of guidance counseling is alittletoo high-stress for me.
00:24:03See you 'round, dude.
00:24:05>> [ French accent ] HEY, BABY.
00:24:07You seen a chick named "lupe" around?
00:25:03I've got a monster...monstrous as can be ♪
00:25:05Bigfoot !
00:25:06♪ He's Bigfoot the Monster,he listens to me ♪
00:25:09Walk, Bigfoot.
00:25:10♪ He's awfully large and hairy ♪
00:25:11♪ His moodscan be frightful ♪
00:25:12Roaaar ! I don't think he's scary.
00:25:15Chomp, chomp.
00:25:16♪ I've got a monsterhe'll rock and he'll roll ♪
00:25:18Ahhhhh !
00:25:19♪ Bigfoot the Monsterhe's in my control ♪
00:25:22Oooh, oh !Ahhhhhhhhhh !
00:25:23♪ Bigfoot ♪
00:25:24Ahhh hahaha ! ♪ The Monster, Bigfoot ♪♪♪
00:25:26Hahaha !Yeah !
00:25:27Roar ! Roar !
00:25:28Bigfoot the Monstercomes with remote control and rechargeable batteries,other batteries not included.
00:27:03xt turns on the adventures... ♪
00:27:06It's the Sky Racers Dare DevilRacing Team and the Sky Racers Carrieris where it all happens !
00:27:11You can turn the pilots toraise the elevator ( click, click ) and rotate the runway. ( click, click ) Sky Racers Twister... ( click, click ) Tornado Prop ( propellers spinning ) Tiger Shark and Twin Eagle.
00:27:21Can you launch the buoys ?
00:27:22Avoid the flares... then race to the finish line ?
00:27:24( flying sounds ) ♪ Imaginext turnson the adventures... ♪♪♪
00:27:28Yeah ! Yeah !
00:27:29Nice flying, ace !
00:27:29Imaginext Sky Racers CarrierTcomes as shown.
00:27:31Other planes sold separately.

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