| 00:00:02 | It's better to cough.
|
| 00:00:02 | like--
Makes you 10 times more higher
than the cross weed and the Pineapple Express.
|
| 00:00:08 | You're like, totally Gong Show'ed, man.
|
| 00:01:55 | ereast d
She's in high school, so as much as any high
school kid.
|
| 00:02:03 | She's cool as hell, actually.
|
| 00:02:06 | You'd get along with her. Really?
|
| 00:02:09 | Yeah, you know... it only sucks
when I go visit her in high school,
and the all the guys she goes to school with
are, like, strong and handsome and really
funny.
|
| 00:02:17 | Like, do good impressions of Jeff Goldblum,
and stuff like that. And, like,
I just feel like a fat, dumb,
unattractive stinky-man turd when I'm there.
|
| 00:02:25 | What? It really-- It sucks for my ego.
|
| 00:02:27 | Tall Jeff Goldblum, man. That's what I say.
|
| 00:02:30 | You know, don't get down on yourself.
|
| 00:02:33 | You got a great girl.
|
| 00:02:34 | You got a great job where you don't do anything.
|
| 00:02:36 | You get to smoke weed all day.
|
| 00:02:38 | I wish I had that.
|
| 00:02:41 | Are you kidd--? You do.
|
| 00:02:42 | You have the easiest job on Earth.
|
| 00:02:44 | You do smoke weed all day.
|
| 00:02:46 | [LAUGHING] That's true.
|
| 00:02:47 | You didn't think of that. No.
|
| 00:02:49 | I do have a good job. Yeah, you do nothing.
|
| 00:02:52 | Thanks, man. No prob.
|
| 00:02:54 | Thank you. [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Oh, shoot. All right. Business.
|
| 00:02:57 | [Rap music playing on stereo]
Got my persona. Yeah, yeah.
|
| 00:03:02 | Hey. Put that cross joint out.
|
| 00:03:03 | He sees that, he'll never get out of here.
|
| 00:03:07 | What's up, Chris? CHRIS: Yo. hey, saul.
|
| 00:03:09 | Hey. How you doing, buddy?
|
| 00:03:11 | All right, homes. Good. Who's this?
|
| 00:03:12 | CHRIS: Hey. Oh, that's my friend, Mark.
|
| 00:03:14 | Got the dough? There you go.
|
| 00:03:16 | Appreciate it. SAUL: Good to meet you, mark.
|
| 00:03:18 | Do you have any Percocet? Percocet?
|
| 00:03:21 | What are you talking about? I don't sell
that stuff.
|
| 00:03:23 | Chris. Chris.
|
| 00:03:26 | You told him I was gonna sell Percocet?
|
| 00:03:27 | I didn't say anything about Percocet. What
the heck?
|
| 00:03:29 | I just wanted a couple Percocets. Well, I...
|
| 00:03:32 | You came to the wrong place. Wrong place.
|
| 00:03:34 | Sorry. Yeah, nice. Peace out, homes.
|
| 00:03:36 | CHRIS: Thank-- God.
|
| 00:03:39 | Turn the lock! Yeah.
|
| 00:03:40 | Freakin' lingerer, man. Yeah, totally.
|
| 00:03:43 | Lingerer. Hardcore.
|
| 00:03:45 | Ahh.
|
| 00:03:46 | [Switches from rap to new wave music]
Bums me out. Bums me out too.
|
| 00:03:49 | If there's one quality I hate in a person,
it's lingering.
|
| 00:03:51 | That's right. You and me both.
|
| 00:03:54 | Yeah, yeah. Hey.
|
| 00:03:56 | So I'm curious. What have those people done
that you go
and process and service?
|
| 00:04:00 | Um, I don't know. It's always something different,
I guess.
|
| 00:04:02 | This guy...
|
| 00:04:06 | Ted Jones, who knows? Uh, you know?
|
| 00:04:07 | Whoa. Ted Jones?
|
| 00:04:10 | Yeah, why?
|
| 00:04:11 | My guy, Red, who I buy from,
he gets his stuff from a Ted Jones.
|
| 00:04:14 | Really? Maybe it's the same guy.
|
| 00:04:16 | That'd be weird.
|
| 00:04:18 | It's a pretty normal name, I guess, but...
|
| 00:04:19 | Yeah. Anyway...
|
| 00:04:21 | I should really get going, man.
|
| 00:04:23 | I gotta-- I gotta go. Duty calls.
|
| 00:04:25 | But, uh, it's good to see you. Thanks.
|
| 00:04:27 | You're gonna smoke and run? Come on, man.
|
| 00:04:28 | We can--
We can go look at some crazy things on the
Internet together.
|
| 00:04:31 | Uh, that sounds appealing,
but I think-- I should just get going
Oh, that sucks. -Yeah.
|
| 00:04:37 | Well that's cool man. What are you doing
this weekend?
|
| 00:04:39 | Cause' my bubbe's got season tickets to the
Opera.
|
| 00:04:42 | She can't make it so, wanna go see Phantom?
|
| 00:04:45 | Of the Opera? -Yeah. Uhm...
|
| 00:04:48 | I can't this weekend. But you know what,
I'm gonna run out of
weed in a couple of days. I'll just come
by and we'll hang out.
|
| 00:04:56 | Watch 2-2-7 and curl. -Cool man.
|
| 00:04:59 | Alright man. -Well thanks good to see you.
|
| 00:05:02 | Peach brother! -Okay. One love!
|
| 00:05:52 | ♪♪
|
| 00:05:52 | ♪♪
|
| 00:05:54 | oh, my gosh.
|
| 00:05:58 | Oh, my gosh.
|
| 00:06:00 | ♪♪ ♪♪
|
| 00:06:05 | [ Male Announcer ] YOU KNOW HER.
|
| 00:06:08 | We know diamonds.
|
| 00:06:10 | Together we'll make her holiday.
|
| 00:06:12 | That's why only zales is the diamond store.
|
| 00:06:15 | Where you can get up to $1,000 off now through
sunday.
|
| 00:06:23 | ]
[ waves crashing ]
♪♪ ♪♪
|
| 00:06:29 | call me ishmael!
|
| 00:06:32 | [ Man ] MOBY DICK.
|
| 00:06:32 | [ Voice command ] "SEARCHING FOR MOBY DICK."
♪♪ ♪♪
|
| 00:06:40 | ♪♪ ♪♪
|
| 00:06:43 | [ Male Announcer ]AT&T AND BLACKBERRY HAVE
Evolved the smartphone.
|
| 00:06:47 | Blackberry torchnow just $99.99.
|
| 00:06:49 | Only from at&t.rethink possible.
|
| 00:06:52 | family
together,
we always make time
for just us cousins.
|
| 00:06:55 | Like the other night
at olive garden.
|
| 00:06:58 | Hey susan,
you gotta tell
the aunt jessie story again.
|
| 00:07:00 | -Yes, you do!
|
| 00:07:01 | -Ok, ok.
|
| 00:07:02 | Joe:
Lolove that story.
|
| 00:07:03 | Try olive garden's
two new scaloppini dishes.
|
| 00:07:06 | Pan-seared chicken breasts
in a lemon-herb glaze.
|
| 00:07:09 | Or sauteed pork
in a creamy white wine sauce.
|
| 00:07:11 | Both served with asiago filled
tortelloni.
|
| 00:07:14 | With our unlimited salad
and breadsticks.
|
| 00:07:16 | This is like being
back at the kids' table.
|
| 00:07:19 | [ Laughter ]
when you're here,
you're family.
|
| 00:07:38 | cool
one.
|
| 00:07:39 | I like having fun -- but I alne.
|
| 00:07:42 | We used one just last night.
|
| 00:07:44 | It was awesome.
|
| 00:07:45 | Knowing you're safe makes it even more pleasurable.
|
| 00:07:48 | Hey, the guys on my team, we'll share the
..
|
| 00:07:51 | For like a month at a time.
|
| 00:07:53 | If you care about me, you're gonna use one.
|
| 00:07:56 | Wanna go homewith me tonight?
|
| 00:07:57 | I'm the designateddriver!
|
| 00:07:59 | Thank you designated drivers.
|
| 00:08:01 | - Thank you! - thank you! - thank you!
|
| 00:08:04 | ♪♪♪♪
|
| 00:08:37 | WOMAN: Yes, he did.
|
| 00:08:41 | MAN: Yes, he did. What was the interest rate
you got?
|
| 00:08:43 | WOMAN: that's
disgusting.
|
| 00:08:46 | [Radio stops]
[RINGTONE] ♪♪ Hello, My name is Dr. Greenthumb
♪♪
|
| 00:08:54 | ♪♪ I'd like to-- ♪♪
|
| 00:08:56 | Hello? ANGIE: Hello.
|
| 00:08:59 | Hey, Angie, what's happening?
|
| 00:09:01 | Hey, I just talked to my mom,
and they are so excitedthat you're coming
for dinner.
|
| 00:09:05 | I mean, like, so excited. And so am I.
|
| 00:09:07 | But we're all really excited. Thank you so
much.
|
| 00:09:09 | No problem. I'm psyched too. It's gonna be
awesome.
|
| 00:09:11 | Couscous. The food so nice, they named it
twice.
|
| 00:09:14 | [Angie laughs]
Um, Dale, anyway, look,I can't wait for next
year
when this is over. I mean--
Oh, damn. I see the guy I gotta serve. I'll
call you back.
|
| 00:09:23 | Darn cops. Snap.
|
| 00:09:26 | [♪♪♪♪♪♪]
[WHISPERS] Jesus.
|
| 00:09:37 | [NORMAL VOICE] What an adorable little cop.
|
| 00:09:41 | Weird.
|
| 00:09:46 | [Gunshot]
Jesus. Farrow.
|
| 00:09:51 | What was that?
|
| 00:09:52 | Oh, snap.
|
| 00:09:55 | Dude. Dude. Dude. Dude.
|
| 00:09:57 | Oh, no!
|
| 00:10:00 | [Coughing]
Drive, drive. Who the freak is that?
|
| 00:10:13 | I don't know, but I ain't waiting to see.
|
| 00:10:16 | [Tires squealing]
[smashing cars]
[screams]
I saw brains and blood! I saw brains and
blood!
|
| 00:10:34 | [Sniffs]
Pineapple Express.
|
| 00:10:42 | DALE: Oh, my Godod! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
|
| 00:10:46 | I saw brains and blood!
|
| 00:10:49 | Come on! Come on!
|
| 00:10:50 | Where do I go?!
|
| 00:10:52 | [Intercom buzzing]
[groans]
[indistinct voiceson tv]
[gargles]
Hello?
|
| 00:11:09 | Saul, it's Dale. Let me in. Let me in. Let
me in.
|
| 00:11:10 | I just saw some crazy stuff. Let me in, please.
|
| 00:11:11 | Let me in.
|
| 00:11:12 | It's Dale Denton. Let me in, man.
|
| 00:11:15 | Dale?
|
| 00:11:16 | Yes, Dale. That's what I said. It's Dale.
|
| 00:11:17 | Dale. Let me in.
|
| 00:11:18 | Oh, all right, man. Come on up.
|
| 00:11:20 | [Door buzzes]
[buzzes]
|
