RENO 911! - Training Day   View more episodes

Aired at 01:00 AM on Thursday, May 27, 2010 (5/27/2010)      View all transcripts from this day

Transcript

00:00:13Look, guys, you're partners now.
00:00:16This is what he was practicing.
00:00:17No, it's not you're partners now.
00:00:18Yeah.
00:00:20That's stronger than the bond between a man and a woman.
00:00:23That's stronger than the bond between priest and confessor.
00:00:27It was shorter when I heard it in the bathroom.
00:00:28It's like romantic love.
00:00:29I want you to look at each other right now.
00:00:32Wait, wait.
00:00:33The one you were practicing in the briefing-- in the locker room this morning-- I wasn't practicing.
00:00:36The one you were practicing this morning I thought was better and more fun.
00:00:39Jim, what is operation cobra fist?
00:00:42What is that?
00:00:43It's, like one of the-- you know, the fist of the cobras.
00:00:46Frank: By don't have hands.
00:00:48[Tires screech, crash] uh, my name is frank salvatore rizzo.
00:00:52I'm the youngest of 3 of rose marie and salvatore rizzo, grandson of lenny and fina rizzo and cornelius and mary lynch.
00:01:01I was born in ozone park, queens, which for mistakes that I fully take responsibility for I am banned from.
00:01:12Dangle: So we've got an employee here who's been terminated but will not leave the building, and security called us.
00:01:17Sheriff's department.
00:01:18Hey. mr. shahim?
00:01:21Yeah.
00:01:21What's up?
00:01:23Uh, security called us.
00:01:26You've been terminated.
00:01:27They've asked you to leave the building.
00:01:29Yeah.
00:01:30I think there must be some sort of mistake.
00:01:33No. no, sir.
00:01:33There is not, ok?
00:01:34Let me make a phone call.
00:01:35I built this place.
00:01:36 you may not make a phone call.
00:01:37Let's talk about that outside.
00:01:38You see the pantomime watch I'm gesturing at?
00:01:41Yeah.
00:01:41That means I don't have all day.
00:01:43Ok. great.
00:01:44You know who else doesn't have all day? me.
00:01:46 if you have a problem with this company, you got to take it up with them.
00:01:51Let's settle it outside.
00:01:52Let's talk about this outside.
00:01:53We just want to escort you out.
00:01:54We can talk about it outside.
00:01:55I'll talk about that with my boss.
00:01:56Ok.
00:01:56You talk about it with go [bleep] yourself outside of my office.
00:02:00Time to go!
00:02:00I'm gonna fall over.
00:02:02No! no, no.
00:02:02Now we're going rough.
00:02:03We're going rough.
00:02:05Ok.
00:02:06No.
00:02:07Shahim: I'm back i I'm back in the office.
00:02:10I'm back in the office.
00:02:11Damn it.
00:02:13All of your progress has now been thwarted because I'm back in my own office safely.
00:02:18No.
00:02:18I'm bringing this [bleep] with me because I bought it.
00:02:21No, no.
00:02:22Put it down.
00:02:22Put the fern down, put the fern down, put the fern down.
00:02:24Hey, way to go.
00:02:25Way to [bleep] back up your co-workers.
00:02:26Way to back up your [bleep] co-workers, everybody.
00:02:28I'm bringing the [bleep] printer with me, also.
00:02:31No, no.
00:02:32You have a pen?
00:02:33Anyone have a pen?
00:02:33Don't get the checkbook out.
00:02:34Don't do that.
00:02:35I'm gonna write a 7, and I'm gonna start writing zeroes.
00:02:38Up to two zeroes.
00:02:39Up to one zero.
00:02:40That's 70?
00:02:40Where were we?
00:02:4200 or $70.
00:02:4470?
00:02:45I look like the sort of person who would let you go for $70?
00:02:49Damn it!
00:02:50Damn it!
00:02:51He's gotta run.
00:02:52No, no.
00:02:53Ha ha!
00:02:54Ok.
00:02:54Yep.
00:02:55Wrist control.
00:02:56Feel that?
00:02:57You know what that is?
00:02:57Feel that?
00:02:58What is it?
00:02:59What is it?
00:02:59That's wrist control.
00:03:00You feel that?
00:03:01Really?
00:03:01'Cause look at that.
00:03:02Hat I'm doing.
00:03:02 that wasn't perfect.
00:03:03You're not controlling my wrist at all.
00:03:04It wasn't perfect yet!
00:03:05I'm getting arrested for nothing by these idiots.
00:03:08Ok.
00:03:09No, no, no, no, no.
00:03:11Yeah.
00:03:11I have a gun.
00:03:12You don't want to do that.
00:03:13I got a gun.
00:03:14What happens now?
00:03:15What happens now?
00:03:16You shoot him, I shoot you.
00:03:17That's what happens now.
00:03:17Cool.
00:03:18Where does that leave him?
00:03:19 where does that leave me?
00:04:58guys, much for.
00:05:00I have no friends, I hate my job, and most of all, I hate myself.
00:05:06I can't think of anything to do but kill myself.
00:05:09Trudy: Hold it right there.
00:05:12Before you take the easy way out, why not check the reno sheriff's department suicide prevention webpage?
00:05:18It's suuuper fun!
00:05:21..
00:05:21And hours of things to do to keep you having fun and keep your mind off of suicide.
00:05:29Games!
00:05:30Word jumbles!
00:05:32Sodoku!
00:05:33Word scrambles!
00:05:34And suggestions for terrific hobbies like fishing, knitting, and word scrambles.
00:05:41Thanks, reno sheriff's department.
00:05:42Now that I have some fantastic new hobbies, I don't want to kill myself anymore.
00:05:48The reno sheriff's department suicide prevention webpage-- the most fun you can have not killing yourself.
00:05:56It's superfun!
00:06:00Uh, I've served in newark, philly.
00:06:03Then I went down to homestead, florida, worked in miami, went up to pompano.
00:06:09I did a couple of joint task louis, spent one day in juneau, one day, and a couple of months in salt lake city, and then I ended here.
00:06:19I got a lot of experience.
00:06:19I got a lot of experience.
00:06:24Frank rizzo is a man with a very long resume in law enforcement without so many recommendations.
00:06:32Not one letter of recommendation in the file, not one.
00:06:35So you take--you know, they kind of balance each other out.
00:06:38Long list of credits, .." " Frank: Uh-huh. oh!
00:06:43Jones: All right, franky, let's go bust this guy now.
00:06:46No. we got to wait.
00:06:47He hasn't made the deal.
00:06:48If he doesn't make the deal, he doesn't get the stuff.
00:06:50He doesn't have the stuff, we don't get the collar.
00:06:55Just-- Girl: [Bleep] cops.
00:06:58They're looking at us.
00:06:59I know they're looking.
00:07:00Listen. just relax.
00:07:00I'm gonna go over there, I'm gonna just settle them.
00:07:02No.
00:07:03Don't go over there.
00:07:03Trust me on this, all right?
00:07:05I worked in newark.
00:07:07Ok.
00:07:08What should I do?
00:07:08Should I just-- Woman: I can do all the things a lady can do but one.
00:07:14Oh, yeah?
00:07:14I love that.
00:07:15Yeah.
00:07:16Ok.
00:07:16He's coming back.
00:07:17Should I start the car and get the hell out of here?
00:07:20Here's what we're gonna do.
00:07:21We're gonna go behind the dumpster and get [bleep].
00:07:23I am not--i am not going to do that.
00:07:25Listen.
00:07:25Listen to me.
00:07:26Do you want to let this guy go?
00:07:27No!
00:07:28Man up!
00:07:32Uh, this guy's named reggie.
00:07:33Woman: Oh, my god.
00:07:34You didn't tell me he was gorgeous.
00:07:36Yeah.
00:07:36I need to give her-- you need to give her $60.
00:07:40Oh. all right.
00:07:4060?
00:07:41I don't want to go.
00:07:43Yeah, you do.
00:07:44I don't want to-- I don't want to.
00:07:46Yeah, you do.
00:07:47Oh, oh.
00:07:52I'll bet you $1,000 you've tossed somebody's salad before socially, not in a jail situation.
00:07:59No.
00:07:59Uh-uh.
00:08:001,000.
00:08:02Come on.
00:08:03$1,000.
00:08:03Come on.
00:08:04Come on.
00:08:04We got a jail cell with your name on it.
00:08:06Can I just--can i-- seriously?
00:08:08 shahim, get in the car.
00:08:09You know what?
00:08:11I'm tired, I'm tired.
00:08:12We got a jail cell says, "jack shahim," right on it.
00:08:14Jack shahim?
00:08:15Yep.
00:08:15My name's daniel shahim.
00:08:17, dumb ass.
00:08:19Now if you're gonna take me to jail, take me to jail.
00:08:20That's fine, ok, but I just want you to see something real quick.
00:08:30Come here.
00:08:30Huddle up.
00:08:31Um, we actually do have the wrong guy.
00:08:33We're supposed to have a james jack shahim.
00:08:35This is daniel shahim.
00:08:36This is your mistake.
00:08:37What building-- oh, [bleep].
00:08:3914144.
00:08:41Oh, they go odd.
00:08:42Their odds are on that side.
00:08:48We're about to meet with a confidential informant I made contact with when I first got to reno.
00:08:52First time I'm working with a partner.
00:08:54Now I want you to take a backseat on this, ok?
00:08:56I've got a lot of experience with this.
00:08:58I don't want you to oh.
00:09:01Hey, big t.
00:09:05Meow!
00:09:07Ruff ruff!
00:09:09Pbbt pbbt pbbt.
00:09:12Pppt pppt pppt.
00:09:13Is that him?
00:09:14That's him.
00:09:16What's the word on the street?
00:09:18The streets are getting crazy.
00:09:19A lot of stuff's going down.
00:09:21You want to add some specifics to that?
00:09:23We got some, uh, a couple zombies building some time machines.
00:09:29He talks in code a lot.
00:09:32Mm-hmm.
00:09:32That's how they do it on the streets, huh?
00:09:35That's how we do it.
00:09:37Got to keep it on the down low.
00:09:39Sozombies.
00:09:40Yeah.
00:09:40Time machine.
00:09:41I take that to be drug users and some time machines.
00:09:45Means we got someone-- machines that go back in time.
00:09:48Right.
00:09:49Mm-hmm.
00:09:51What else you got for me, big t?
00:09:52There's a big, uh, diarrhea embargo going down at midnight.
00:09:58Tonight?
00:10:00Yeah.
00:10:01 you got to let me know what this is.
00:10:03What's a diarrhea embargo?
00:10:04Yeah.
00:10:04What is that.
00:10:06That will get me killed if I give that up.
00:10:07I swear to god I will protect you.
00:10:10Why are you so skitterish today?
00:10:11It's--i had a big breakfast.
00:10:15A big breakfast, or is this a code?
00:10:18 it's--i literally ..
00:10:21A big breakfast?
00:10:22A huge amount of breakfast foods.
00:10:23Welcome aboard.
00:10:25Kid's a wealth of information.
00:10:27Ha ha ha ha!
00:11:10xññ I'm delighted to have a new right-hand man.
00:14:45Jack declan, I think, is an outstanding officer.
00:14:48Comes us to by way of the chicago police department.
00:14:50Um, also young franky rizzo.
00:14:52I will say on a serious note nothing can ever, uh, make up for the loss ..those ones.
00:15:06Uh, the--the black guy?
00:15:08 the black guy didn't--no.
00:15:09The black guy's fine.
00:15:09He's still there.
00:15:11And the--come on.
00:15:12The little-- chinese one.
00:15:14Nothing could ever make up for the loss of our fallen deputies, but we got some great new additions.
00:15:19Carol.
00:15:20That was not--never.
00:15:21We never had aarol.
00:15:21So we just got a [bleep] by a dude.
00:15:25You know that, right?
00:15:26It's my bad.
00:15:27That was my bad.
00:15:30Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.
00:15:32This is not good, man.
00:15:32This is not good.
00:15:33They're noticing us.
00:15:34Our cover's gonna be blown, man.
00:15:35Well, let's get the hell out of here.
00:15:36 we're not gonna get the hell out.
00:15:37This is what we're gonna do.
00:15:38We got to go up there, buy some drugs, and snort some drugs with those guys.
00:15:41What?
00:15:41We got to do this, or our cover's gonna be blown.
00:15:49Jones: What it be?
00:15:49What it be like? huh?
00:15:52Hey, man.
00:15:53Same old [bleep] is right.
00:15:54I want to mix it up a little bit.
00:15:56Hey, man.
00:15:56We're looking for a party, man.
00:15:58Yeah.
00:15:58We want drugs.
00:16:02There we go.
00:16:03What up, homey?
00:16:04Whoo!
00:16:04Come on.
00:16:05Let's go.
00:16:07We're getting more [bleep]jobs.
00:16:09Time to get more [bleep]jobs.
00:16:15Sheriff's department.
00:16:16Sheriff's department.
00:16:17Wow!
00:16:17What a surprise to see you here.
00:16:19Yeah.
00:16:20How you doing?
00:16:20Heil hitler.
00:16:21Hey.
00:16:22And also with you.
00:16:23Mademoiselle.
00:16:24Do you know why we're here?
00:16:26I'm assuming to taste some of our delicious new chardonnay.
00:16:30It is delicious and light.
00:16:32It's like swallowing a spring breeze that was made by peaches and angels.
00:16:35 I thought were gonna say peaches and herb.
00:16:37I like them, too.
00:16:38This is why we're here.
00:16:40"Washoe chardonnay: A superior white wine " this is not testing well amongst people in the neighborhood.
00:16:48Really?
00:16:49Yeah.
00:16:50But have the people in neighborhood-- you want to hold it by the stem, dear, because your body hand-- you're so warm and hot and filled with african rage, it's gonna warm that up.
00:16:56She eats like an animal.
00:16:57Ma'am, please, ..
00:16:58It's peppery.
00:16:59Of putting that up to your big, old lips.
00:17:01She loves pepper.
00:17:01All right.
00:17:02Go ahead.
00:17:02Hold that up there.
00:17:05"Mein kampf" chianti?
00:17:06Yeah.
00:17:06You know?
00:17:07You don't see how this could be offensive to someone, someone jewy?
00:17:10 I don't use that word.
00:17:12I prefer things like " you know, we always save a glass for elijah.
00:17:18 now try that one.
00:17:20That is gonna melt your tits.
00:17:21Mmm.
00:17:22Mmm.
00:17:23Hitler's onto something with this one.
00:17:25Well, he had a couple good ideas.
00:17:28Ooh.
00:17:29Gary.
00:17:30Yes, ma'am?
00:17:31Admittedly, your wine is fantastic.
00:17:33Well, thank you very much.
00:17:34Not the issue.
00:17:35It's the labels people are having a problem with, and another thing.
00:17:37Are the cheeses free?
00:17:39Yes, absolutely.
00:17:39Help yourselves, and you know what else is free?
00:17:42For officers of washoe county, any bottle is yours.
00:17:45How about two bottles?
00:17:46Two bottles and bienvenue, enchante.
00:17:48I'm gonna tell you something.
00:17:50Yes, ma'am?
00:17:51But you ain't got to tell me that but one time.
00:17:53All right.
00:17:54How about some buttery crackers, too?
00:17:56This cracker--heh.
00:17:56Wait a minute.
00:17:58What did you call me?
00:17:59Ha ha!
00:17:59Wait a minute.
00:18:01Wait a minute.
00:18:01I wasn't trying to make a joke.
00:18:03..
00:18:04This cracker wan me some "mein kampf" zinfandel.
00:20:44♪♪
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00:21:01Keep an eye on rizzo.
00:21:02Let's call this operation hide the salami.
00:21:06You know what?
00:21:06No.
00:21:07We're not gonna call it that.
00:21:08That's what we're calling it.
00:21:09No, we're not.
00:21:10You're gonna keep ..
00:21:11I will never refer to it as-- ..
00:21:13I will never refer to it as operation hide the salami.
00:21:14What do you want to call it?
00:21:16Just call it-- call it anything.
00:21:18It's not like that.
00:21:19It's not espionage.
00:21:21It's just-- but it kind of is.
00:21:22I'm asking you to keep an eye on rizzo.
00:21:24If you think he's dirty, I want to know.
00:21:25Call it keep an eye on rizzo.
00:21:26No.
00:21:26We'll call it-- how about we'll call it watch-a the salami?
00:21:29How about watch the salami?
00:21:30Why does it have to have a salami in it?
00:21:31I'm not gonna remember what this operation is unless it has salami in it.
00:21:34Tss tss tss tss tss tss tss.
00:21:38Jones: Ok. ok.
00:21:41Come on, big fish.
00:21:42Come on, you big, fat fish.
00:21:43There you go.
00:21:45 are you gonna go out front, and do I flank the-- do I flank the back?
00:21:48Relax, relax.
00:21:48Just relax.
00:21:50You're like a damn naggy witch.
00:21:53[Sniffing] why are you-- what are you doing?
00:21:58I'm gonna go in there, and I'm gonna buy a [bleep]load of drugs.
00:22:02Why?
00:22:02But I only got $15, so give me your money.
00:22:04 I'm not giving you money-- I understand.
00:22:05I'm not giving you more money, franky.
00:22:06I understand.
00:22:07Give me the [bleep] money.
00:22:08Give me the [bleep] money.
00:22:09I mean it.
00:22:09Give me some [bleep] money, give me your credit card, give me the whole [bleep] wallet because I'm getting a lot of [bleep] drugs.
00:22:14I'm gonna get the fish!
00:22:14[Bleep].
00:22:15Fine, franky.
00:22:15All right?
00:22:16I'm gonna get the fish.
00:22:16This is against procedure, franky.
00:22:18This is not against-- it's against--it's against my balls.
00:22:21Do you love america?
00:22:22I love america, but what the [bleep] is the cue?
00:22:27Doosh.
00:22:30All right.
00:22:31All right.
00:22:32I--i got a [bleep]job by a guy, did coke, and then got another [bleep]job by another guy.
00:22:42This guy's crooked.
00:22:44I'm going in.
00:22:44I'm gonna bust franky.
00:22:50I'm gonna bust franky.
00:22:54Come on, bozo!
00:22:56Ha ha!
00:22:57Look what happened!
00:22:58Look. we got the fish!
00:22:59We hooked the fish, jonesy!
00:23:01Ha ha ha!
00:23:01Whoo!
00:23:03Oh. surprise, surprise.
00:23:07It's a lot.
00:23:0850/50 We split this?
00:23:14I'm kidding.
00:23:15I'm kidding.
00:23:15It's a joke.
00:23:19I'll tell you something.
00:23:20You're a patriot, and you love america.
00:23:22Can we celebrate with some [bleep]jobs?
00:23:27[Elephant trumpets] you know what?
00:23:30I want to negotiate right now because I know you guys [bleep] up.
00:23:32No, we didn't.
00:23:32I want to negotiate right now.
00:23:33No, we didn't.
00:23:34Yeah, yeah.
00:23:34I get to-- I get to cradle him like a little baby for 30 seconds.
00:23:38No, you don't.
00:23:39No.
00:23:40Or I'm gonna call your guys' superior.
00:23:41 do it now, do it fast.
00:23:42Do it right now?
00:23:43Just do it fast, do it fast.
00:23:43Ok.
00:23:44Cradle down.
00:23:47[Bleep] you're a baby.
00:23:49" I'm a baby, I'm a baby.
00:23:52Say it.
00:23:53" I'm a baby, a baby.
00:23:54"I'm a cute, " I'm a cute, adorable baby.
00:23:57He's a baby.
00:23:57I'm a cute, adorable baby.
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00:27:17.. you listen, you put the headphones on, we're ready to go, crank it up and let's, and let's do it.
00:27:24>> Hi, I'm tracy gallagher.
00:27:26You know, the only thing more exciting than learning a new language is the new world of discovery and opportunities that open up to you when you can speak a new language.
00:27:35I'm probably like many of you who took a foreign language in high school or college but failed to learn or really speak it.
00:27:43I studied spanish for years and never became fluent.
00:27:46Rosetta stone made learning a new language attainable for me.
00:27:50Now, this is the way to learn a language.
00:27:52It's like nothing I've ever seen before.
00:27:54I'd like to introduce the director of learning at rosetta stone, duane sider.
00:27:59Duane is a professor and language learning expert.
00:28:02What makes rosetta stone so much different and better than all of the other language learning systems out there?
00:28:07>> Well, there are some keys to this, and there are three things I want to mention, three revolutionary breakthrough learning technologies in rosetta stone that no other system offers.

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