| 00:00:02 | >> February 28, 2012, from
comedy central's world news
headquarters in new york, this
is "the daily show" with jon
stewart.
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| 00:00:10 | ["Daily show" theme song
playing]
[cheers an
Captioning sponsored by
Comedy central
>> Jon: Welcome to "the daily
show".
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| 00:00:29 | My same in jon stewart.
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| 00:00:30 | We have -- my name is jon
stewart.
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| 00:00:32 | We have a good show for you
tonight.
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| 00:00:36 | Seestephen merchant will be on the
show tonight.
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| 00:00:42 | When his partner ricky gervais
was here we had a refined
conversation with raccoon and
panda sex so don't know what
we'll talk about tonight.
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| 00:00:53 | But you may want to leave the
room when we do.
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| 00:00:57 | I'm going to say romney won
arizona handelly but the big
result was michigan where all
four candidates were defeated by
a late surprise entrance the
schitcy when from I understand
he made impressive promises.
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| 00:01:17 | >> When you order the schitky
you get the little one.
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| 00:01:25 | >> Jon: It's a populous
message that resonates in the
difficult yet schmootzy times.
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| 00:01:36 | Romney kept putting his foot in
the mouth he hired sew own mouth
doesn't get feet in it and
santorum released a robo call
telling democratic voters to
vote for him since michigan's
republican party is open to all
voters and mitt romney didn't
care for the tactic.
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| 00:01:56 | >> Outrageous and disgusting.
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| 00:01:57 | It's a new low in this campaign.
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| 00:01:59 | I think rick santorum has a lot
of explaining to do.
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| 00:02:03 | >> Jon: You've got a lot of
splaining to do, the close et he
will get to the it will tino
vote.
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| 00:02:17 | What are the odds of the tape
existing of mitt romney
endorsing that very same
practice, perhaps my mitt romney
flip-flop finder --
[ laughter ]
-- knows the answer.
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| 00:02:34 | >> In massachusetts if you
register as an independent, you
can vote in either the
republican or democratic
primary.
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| 00:02:41 | When there was no real contest
in the republican primary i
would vote for the democrat,
vote for the person I thought
would be the weakest opponent
for a republican.
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| 00:02:51 | [ Laughter ]
>> Jon: What a disgusting
thing to do.
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| 00:02:57 | You have some splaining to do.
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| 00:03:01 | Wow.
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| 00:03:01 | Can't believe this thing was
only $10 at target.
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| 00:03:04 | Look, now flip-flop finder we
have romney flip-flopping on the
substance but in the clip with
santorum he called this practice
disgusting.
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| 00:03:13 | Do you have a clip of romney
perhaps from his past not only
admitting to this practice of
voting in someone else's primary
but admitting it in a
ç
probably no what I new york city
whammies.
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| 00:03:30 | >> When you register as a
independent you could vote
against bill clinton.
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| 00:03:37 | I used to vote against ted
kenny.
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| 00:03:40 | >> Jon: I used to vote against
ted kennedy [squealing] he has
an adrenalin rush.
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| 00:03:48 | Who needs partying or cursing
when you have cross party
endorsing.
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| 00:03:54 | I'll be up all night.
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| 00:03:56 | That guy makes it way too
(bleep) EASY.
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| 00:03:58 | [ Laughter ]
all right.
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| 00:03:59 | Of course, the main story
tonight the economy.
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| 00:04:01 | The dow closed above 13,000 for
the first time in four years
today.
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| 00:04:06 | And that's not the only
arbitrary indicator making a
move this first february.
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| 00:04:11 | >> A whole slew of good news
about the economy and a
record-setting day on wall
street.
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| 00:04:15 | The jobless rate in ç january fell
3%,
the lowest in three years.
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| 00:04:23 | The economy created $243,000
jobs.
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| 00:04:27 | The dow soared to the highest
close since before the 2008
financial crisis.
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| 00:04:33 | >> Jon: You had to go and get
better while obama was still in
you
couldn't hold off nine little
months.
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| 00:04:40 | Not teeny tiny little months.
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| 00:04:42 | It's good news unless you work
for a media organization whose
job it is to make sure obama
doesn't get reelected.
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| 00:04:49 | You know what this means?
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| 00:04:50 | To the return-a nateor.
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| 00:04:55 | >> It's an anemic recovery.
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| 00:04:57 | >> There ain't no recovery.
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| 00:04:58 | >> About half the decline in the
unemployment rate has come from
people dropping out of work
force because they are so
discouraged.
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| 00:05:05 | The real unemployment rate is
well into the double digits.
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| 00:05:09 | The economic data obama is
pedaling is -- peddling is
phony.
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| 00:05:16 | >> It's how you feel in the
three or four months before the
election regardless of numbers,
how do you feel?
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| 00:05:22 | [ Laughter ]
>> Jon: Let me see if I get
this straight, the numbers are
in
fact, they are bad.
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| 00:05:32 | Actually they are fake.
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| 00:05:32 | Even if they were real and good
it wouldn't matter because it's
about how bad you feel and
that's where we come in.
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| 00:05:40 | [ Laughter ]
fox news --
[cheers and applause]
but their early february
pushback on the economic
indicators is all over the
place.
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| 00:05:52 | You rarely see fox this
disorganized.
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| 00:05:55 | Luckily on february 10th the
republican national committee
sent out this pundit prep
document, let me show it to you.
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| 00:06:02 | It's a document emphasizing how
to mitigate any damage that may
be occurring from the improved
economy.
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| 00:06:09 | It furnishes republican pundits
with three key areas to focus
on, the national debt,
unemployment and the price of
gas.
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| 00:06:16 | Let's watch and see if the
february 10th planting takes
root.
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| 00:06:20 | Fur playing along at home and
looking for national debt,
unemployment, and the price of
gas.
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| 00:06:26 | [ Laughter ]
>> the debt is the issue.
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| 00:06:29 | >> Why isn't the national debt
the main issue?
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| 00:06:32 | >> Rising unemployment.
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| 00:06:33 | The country is deeper in debt.
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| 00:06:35 | >> 15% U6 unemployment.
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| 00:06:38 | 5 Unemployment and four
bucks for gas.
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| 00:06:42 | >> Nobody is talking about gas
prices ynch is nobody talking
about this.
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| 00:06:45 | 57 And you might be asking
the question why is nobody
TALKING ABOUTÑi THIS?
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| 00:06:54 | [ Laughter ]
>> Jon: Bingo!
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| 00:06:57 | I have my whole -- why is nobody
talking about this?
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| 00:07:01 | Oh, my god gretchen is unable to
hear her own voice.
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| 00:07:07 | [ Laughter ]
that is so tragic.
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| 00:07:13 | For her.
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| 00:07:14 | [ Laughter ]
so a lot of pundits -- a lot of
pundits and news shows on fox
seem to have consolidated their
negative economic spin around
the same three distinct data
points provided by the
republican national committee
pundit prep note.
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| 00:07:30 | That's not proosm you don't have
one ç of fox's talking heads, i
don't know reading the memo
aloud much to the cha grin of
one of the talking heads sitting
next to them, do we?
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| 00:07:42 | >> The rnc sees trouble for the
president regarding this.
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| 00:07:46 | They sent out something
according to the papers called
pundit prep for the talking
heads to good out.
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| 00:07:52 | They say the three best ways to
define the barack obama economy,
the national debt, which is
skyrocketing, the unemployment
which is north of 8% and gas
prices.
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| 00:08:03 | >> Jon: Fascinating.
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| 00:08:04 | doocy
would you like to make the pivot
from revealing the game to
playing it?
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| 00:08:10 | >> And gas prices.
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| 00:08:12 | >> They are impacting you.
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| 00:08:15 | How has it affected you?
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| 00:08:18 | What are you going without?
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| 00:08:19 | E-MAILzV US, WE WOULD LIKE TO
Know.
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| 00:08:22 | >> Jon: You can't do that.
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| 00:08:24 | That's like hosting a show with
a lab when this guy is on there.
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| 00:08:30 | He just gave the game away.
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| 00:08:32 | You know, they sent up a talking
point which brings up a point
I'd like to talk about.
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| 00:08:37 | That ruins the game it's like
second an e-mail to someone
thats says hey click on this, it
opens up a video of rick astley
sing" never gonna give you up"
which under most circumstances
you would not expect to get.
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| 00:08:56 | I'm not the only one who things
he wasn't supposed to do that
WATCH HER LASERÑiñr EYES WHEN SHIES
Reaisles he is giving up the
game.
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| 00:09:08 | >> Called pundit prep for the
talking heads to go out.
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| 00:09:11 | >> Jon: It's like she's giving
the signal to the host wrangler.
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| 00:09:17 | It's like dart him!
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| 00:09:20 | >>
>> Jon: Welcome become.
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| 00:12:19 | No matter -- really, thank you.
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| 00:12:20 | [ Laughter ]
no matter comp candidate wins
the presidential election he has to answer
to the voter and the
voaer has the name.
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| 00:12:26 | Samantha bee has more.
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| 00:12:27 | >> Each of four remaining
republican candidates hope to
one day be called the most
powerful man in washington.
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| 00:12:33 | But right now that position is
taken.
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| 00:12:36 | By this guy.
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| 00:12:38 | >> One person is controlling the
april agenda of the united
states of america right now and
his name is grover nor quist.
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| 00:12:48 | >> Assist I feared lobbyist as
head of americans for tax
reform.
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| 00:12:52 | Has gotten the majority of
congress to sign an oath saying
they will not raise taxes under
any circumstances ever.
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| 00:13:01 | Jesus christ, that's a lot of
people.
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| 00:13:03 | To find out the lifetime pledge
his subs sworn to him I sat down
with his lordship in the book
lined power bunker.
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| 00:13:13 | >> The whole point of the pledge
is it's a public commitment not
to raise taxes.
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| 00:13:18 | >>
>> is there a scenario in which
would you be comfortable with
someone raising taxes.
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| 00:13:23 | >> No.
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| 00:13:24 | >> Right now the federal
on
defense.
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| 00:13:32 | >> Natural disaster.
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| 00:13:32 | >> Your house is knocked down
and the federal government
raises your taxes and that makes
you better off.
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| 00:13:39 | >> Beard flu?
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| 00:13:41 | >> Not familiar with that.
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| 00:13:42 | >> What about the rise of the
apes?
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| 00:13:44 | >> If the -- look, the la did
you get mate.
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| 00:13:48 | >> If the chimps took over would
you be comfortable?
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| 00:13:51 | >> We would prefer that not to
happen but --
>> ç well --
>> I think raising taxes would
not stop that.
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| 00:13:57 | >> The pledge is so rigid that
even abraham lincoln would have
been in violation of that his
mancrush would have been in
violation of it, too,
repeatedly.
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| 00:14:09 | This steward of public policy
hasn't lost sieghtd of what is
really important.
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| 00:14:15 | >> My team is winning.
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| 00:14:16 | If you talk to harry reid he
5 trillion tax
increase.
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| 00:14:22 | >> Your team is winning it's
like you came up with this whole
idea when you were 12.
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| 00:14:28 | >> I did when I was 12 becaused
we had a teacher.
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| 00:14:31 | >> You came up this -- what did
you say you came up with this
idea when you were --
>> IN SEVENTH GRADE.s
>> The entire federal government
is paralyzed because of a
document written by a
12-year-old until 1968.
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| 00:14:52 | What other gridlock inducing the
ideas do you have when you were
12?
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| 00:14:59 | >> Some thing thips were simple.
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| 00:15:02 | If one of the parties would
brand itself as the party that
wouldn't raise taxes that would
be a way for the republican
party to succeed.
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| 00:15:09 | >> Let's say I'm a 12-year-old
girl and you're a 12-year-old
boy.
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| 00:15:14 | Explain your idea about branding
the republican party to me.
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| 00:15:17 | >> Okay.
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| 00:15:17 | The goal is to make it easier
for people.
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| 00:15:21 | >> Oh, my god, guys irk there's
like a nerd talking to me about
something.
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| 00:15:27 | >> If you want to know who you
are voting for it's helpful if
there's a brand identification.
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| 00:15:33 | >> What?
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| 00:15:34 | >> One party wants to raise your
taxes.
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| 00:15:36 | One won't.
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| 00:15:37 | Makes it easier to choose.
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| 00:15:38 | >> I don't know even -- I don't
even know what he is saying.
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| 00:15:45 | He has a fruit rollup in the
beard.
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| 00:15:49 | Final, I'll make out with you
but nothing south of equator.
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| 00:15:53 | The republicans have him if
their corner so if democrats are
ever to win this fight, they
need their own think tank full
of 12-year-olds.
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| 00:16:02 | I showed these political
wonder-kins --
this is the actual thing.
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| 00:16:08 | >> The pledge, yeah.
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| 00:16:09 | >> This doesn't seem like
something that normal people
would sign.
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| 00:16:14 | >> I would never sign a pledge
wrien by a 12-year-old.
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| 00:16:19 | It's like stupid.
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| 00:16:20 | >> Maybe I needed to spend more
time connecting with them.
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| 00:16:25 | So, teens, vam pires, huh?
|
| 00:16:28 | -- Vampires, huh?
|
| 00:16:31 | Justin bieber, ipods, slap
bracelets, right?
|
| 00:16:37 | >> How old are you?
|
| 00:16:38 | >> How old do you think I am?
|
| 00:16:40 | >> Like 53.
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| 00:16:43 | [ Laughter ]
>> you just made it to the top
OF MY (bleep) LIST.
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| 00:16:49 | Maybe what the democrats really
needed were fresher, younger
voices.
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| 00:16:57 | All we're looking for are some
ideas to solve all of america's
problems forever into the
future.
|
| 00:17:04 | >> Sell apples.
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| 00:17:08 | >> Extend metro north to
vermont.
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| 00:17:12 | >> That's something.
|
| 00:17:15 | Anything more global?
|
| 00:17:16 | >> Robots instead of army.
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| 00:17:19 | >> Step aside norquist.
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