| 00:02:45 | >> Lily: Then I said to
e travel agent, "Make sure
"you get us reservations
"in a very nice place, because
"if there's anything we can't
stand, it's weird people."
And so he suggested
Happy Valley Lodge, and I told
him that we wanted everything
just right, because we were
considering, well, we were
considering this weekend
as sort of a second honeymoon,
and then - Herman, what's
the matter?
|
| 00:03:02 | (grunts)
Stop mumbling, for heaven sakes,
and say something.
|
| 00:03:07 | >> Johann: Run, run, run.
|
| 00:03:09 | Look, look, look.
|
| 00:03:12 | >> Lily: Oh, all right, dear.
|
| 00:03:13 | If your throat's that sore,
forget it.
|
| 00:03:31 | >> Herman: Hi, everybody.
|
| 00:03:32 | I'm home. Anybody here?
|
| 00:03:48 | >> Grandpa:..
|
| 00:03:50 | >> Herman: Hmm?
|
| 00:03:51 | >> Grandpa: What do you think
you're doing?
|
| 00:03:53 | >> Herman: Huh?
|
| 00:03:55 | >> Grandpa: Don't grump at me,
you miserable creep.
|
| 00:04:00 | Down in the dungeon. Yaah!
|
| 00:04:02 | Burn, burn!
|
| 00:04:04 | >> Herman:..
|
| 00:04:06 | >> Grandpa: Burn!
|
| 00:04:06 | >> Herman: Grandpa!
|
| 00:04:08 | What's the matter with ya?
|
| 00:04:10 | That's no way for
a self-respecting Republican
to act.
|
| 00:04:13 | >> Grandpa: Herman, it's you.
|
| 00:04:15 | >> Herman: Of course it's me.
|
| 00:04:16 | >> Grandpa: Humph, so it is.
|
| 00:04:20 | I kind of thought you came
a long way from run, run, run.
|
| 00:04:24 | >> Herman: Oh, ha-ha-ha-ha.
|
| 00:04:26 | I get it.
|
| 00:04:28 | You thought I was Johann.
|
| 00:04:30 | (chuckles)
By the way, where is Johann?
|
| 00:04:34 | >> Grandpa: herman,
I've got something to tell ya,
and I think you better sit down.
|
| 00:04:38 | >> Herman: I don't wanna.
|
| 00:04:39 | Where is Johann?
|
| 00:04:40 | >> Grandpa: Johann has gone off
for the weekend with your wife.
|
| 00:04:44 | >> Herman: That's no reason
to sit down, just because
Johann has gone off
for the weekend with my -
with-with-with my -
You mean - That dumb old
Dr. Frankenstein!
|
| 00:04:55 | I'll kill him, I'll kill him,
I'll kill him, I'll kill him,
I'll kill him, I'll kill him,
I'll kill him, I'll kill him...
|
| 00:05:02 | Hello, operator?
|
| 00:05:04 | Operator, emergency, emergency.
|
| 00:05:06 | What? Oh, just a minute.
|
| 00:05:10 | Where are we calling?
|
| 00:05:12 | >> Grandpa: Happy valley lodge.
|
| 00:05:13 | >> Herman: The emergency's
about to happen at
the Happy Valley Lodge.
|
| 00:05:17 | Do I know the area code?
|
| 00:05:18 | I don't even know my own name,
and you're asking me
for details. What?
|
| 00:05:23 | >> Grandpa: What's the matter?
|
| 00:05:26 | >> Herman: The operator
told me to put my daddy on.
|
| 00:05:28 | >> Grandpa: Oh, boy. hello?
|
| 00:05:30 | Listen, we want to call
the Happy Valley Lodge,
area code 416, person to person,
Mrs. Lily Munster.
|
| 00:05:38 | >> Herman: That rotten johann
running off with my wife.
|
| 00:05:40 | On top of everything else,
he took my new fishing pole
with him.
|
| 00:05:45 | >> Grandpa: What? what is it?
|
| 00:05:47 | Herman, hold it down, please!
|
| 00:05:49 | I'm sorry, operator, could you
please speak a little louder?
|
| 00:05:52 | Please, Herman! Speak louder.
|
| 00:05:54 | My stupid son-in-law
is banging his head
on the wall.
|
| 00:05:58 | (thunder rumbles)
>> Lily: Oh, doesn't everything
look wonderful?
|
| 00:06:04 | A romantic dinner for two.
|
| 00:06:07 | Herman, you light the candles.
|
| 00:06:11 | (groans)
That's right, dear.
|
| 00:06:15 | Save your voice, but light
the candles.
|
| 00:06:20 | >> Johann: Aah! aah! aah!
|
| 00:06:25 | >> Lily: Herman! herman.
|
| 00:06:28 | Aw, come on, Hermy.
|
| 00:06:30 | Come out of there so we can have
a romantic evening.
|
| 00:06:33 | >> Grandpa: They're ringing it.
|
| 00:06:34 | >> Herman: Gimme the phone.
|
| 00:06:35 | >> Grandpa: All right.
|
| 00:06:40 | >> Lily: Aren't they yummy?
|
| 00:06:41 | >> Johann: Yummy. yummy.
|
| 00:06:44 | Run, run, run.
|
| 00:06:47 | (laughs)
>> Lily: Herman, I've never
seen you act this coy before.
|
| 00:06:51 | (phone ringing)
Silly.
|
| 00:07:05 | Hello.
|
| 00:07:06 | >> Herman: Hello, lily?
|
| 00:07:07 | This is Herman.
|
| 00:07:08 | >> Lily: Herman?
|
| 00:07:09 | It can't be you on the phone
because you're in the closet.
|
| 00:07:13 | >> Herman: She says
I'm in the closet.
|
| 00:07:15 | >> Grandpa: In the closet?
|
| 00:07:16 | Gimme that phone, ya big boob.
|
| 00:07:18 | Hello. Lily Munster?
|
| 00:07:20 | This is your father.
|
| 00:07:21 | Now hear this -
>> Lily: Grandpa, is this
some kind of joke?
|
| 00:07:24 | >> Grandpa: A joke?
|
| 00:07:26 | >> Lily: Yes, calling up here
and imitating Herman.
|
| 00:07:28 | >> Grandpa: No,
that was Herman's voice.
|
| 00:07:30 | He's right here!
|
| 00:07:32 | >> Lily: Ha-ha, very funny,
but Herman is right here
with me, and I don't want you
bothering me anymore with
your silly jokes.
|
| 00:07:47 | Poopsie, you can come out now.
|
| 00:07:52 | (grunts)
>> Johann: Run, run, run.
|
| 00:07:56 | Play, play, play.
|
| 00:07:58 | (Lily giggles)
>> Dr. Frankenstein:
Oh, just fancy that.
|
| 00:08:04 | You mean to say that Johann
is rendezvousing at
Happy Valley Lodge
with your wife?
|
| 00:08:08 | >> Herman: That's right,
and I don't think it's what
you English guys call cricket.
|
| 00:08:12 | >> Grandpa: We agreed to
smooth out the rough edges,
but this is ridiculous.
|
| 00:08:16 | >> Dr. Frankenstein: Perhaps
I could resort to
a long-distance hypnotism.
|
| 00:08:19 | I've had some success
with Johann in the past.
|
| 00:08:23 | Johann... Johann?
|
| 00:08:26 | I am calling you.
|
| 00:08:28 | I am calling you.
|
| 00:08:31 | >>> Herman: The area code's 416.
|
| 00:08:32 | >> Dr. Frankenstein: Thank you
very much. Johann?
|
| 00:08:36 | Johann?
|
| 00:08:37 | >> Lily: These will help
your laryngitis, dear.
|
| 00:08:43 | Herman? W-What's the matter?
|
| 00:08:49 | What's come over you?
|
| 00:08:50 | I thought you liked grapes.
|
| 00:09:00 | >> Dr. Frankenstein: Johann,
I'm calling you.
|
| 00:09:02 | Johann, come to me.
|
| 00:09:06 | Come to me!
|
| 00:09:07 | >> Herman: Do you think
you're getting through to him?
|
| 00:09:10 | >> Dr. Frankenstein: I'm sorry.
|
| 00:09:11 | I seem to have botched it.
|
| 00:09:12 | I'm afraid I don't have the
flair for this sort of thing
like my great-grandpapa had.
|
| 00:09:22 | Jolly good effort, Johann.
|
| 00:09:23 | You returned.
|
| 00:09:24 | >> Herman: Ask about my pole.
|
| 00:09:26 | >> Lily: Herman munster,
you come back here.
|
| 00:09:29 | How dare you run out on me?
|
| 00:09:30 | >> Dr. Frankenst Madam,
I'll thank you to take
your hands off my creature.
|
| 00:09:33 | >> Lily: Your creature nothing.
|
| 00:09:35 | This is my husband.
|
| 00:09:36 | >> Herman: No, no, lily.
|
| 00:09:37 | This creature is your husband.
|
| 00:09:40 | Ha-ha-ha-ha.
|
| 00:09:43 | >> Lily: I-i-i know what
I see here is not true,
and I'm not gonna get excited.
|
| 00:09:49 | I'm just gonna simply keep
calm and cool, and I...
|
| 00:09:54 | I...Ay, ay, ay!
|
| 00:09:58 | (screams)
>> Herman: Lily! lily! lily!
|
| 00:10:05 | You come out of there.
|
| 00:10:07 | >> Grandpa: Lily, open up.
|
| 00:10:08 | >> Dr. Frankenstein:
Do come out, madam.
|
| 00:10:11 | This is Johann's closet.
|
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|
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|
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|
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|
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|
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| 00:13:28 | @ @
>> Dr. Frankenstein: Although
Johann is the exact duplicate
of your husband, he is extremely
uncouth and uncivilized.
|
| 00:14:28 | >> Grandpa: That's right, lily,
and Herman and I were trying to
teach him some manners
and how to read.
|
| 00:14:33 | >> Herman: That's what we were
doing down in the basement.
|
| 00:14:36 | >> Lily: Oh, I thought you were
acting unusually stupid
last night.
|
| 00:14:40 | >> Herman: My wife's perceptive.
|
| 00:14:41 | >> Dr. Frankenstein: The way
things have worked out, I think
it best if I take Johann
back to Germany to be tutored
in private, but I do want to
thank you all for your help.
|
| 00:14:48 | Come, Johann.
|
| 00:14:52 | Say goodbye to the nice people.
|
| 00:14:55 | >> Johann: Run, run, run.
|
| 00:15:04 | >> Dr. Frankenstein: I think
we better be going. Come along.
|
| 00:15:07 | (Johann groans)
>> Lily: Goodbye, doctor.
|
| 00:15:11 | >> Grandpa: Bye-bye.
|
| 00:15:12 | Nice having you.
|
| 00:15:14 | >> Lily: Bye, johann.
|
| 00:15:19 | >> Grandpa: Herman, what are you
doing with that first-grade
reader?
|
| 00:15:23 | >> Herman: Shucks, I just wanted
to see how it comes out.
|
| 00:15:26 | "See John and Jane
"with the ball.
|
| 00:15:30 | "See John and Jane
"play with the ball.
|
| 00:15:33 | Play, play, play."
(Herman guffaws)
"Play, play, play.
|
| 00:15:41 | Look at John and Jane play..."
>> Lily: Grandpa, I just had
a terrible thought.
|
| 00:15:47 | Do you think Dr. Frankenstein
could've gotten mixed up?
|
| 00:15:50 | Taken Herman and left me Johann?
|
| 00:15:53 | >> Grandpa: Of course not.
|
| 00:15:56 | Anyhow, if you ask me, there's
not enough difference to worry
about it.
|
| 00:16:26 | [ Fingers snapping ]
♪♪ they're creepy, and they're kooky ♪♪
|
| 00:16:42 | ♪♪ mysterious and spooky ♪♪
|
| 00:16:44 | ♪♪ they're altogether ooky ♪♪
|
| 00:16:46 | ♪♪ the addams family ♪♪
|
| 00:16:47 | ♪♪ their house is a museum ♪♪
|
| 00:16:49 | ♪♪ where people come to see 'em ♪♪
|
| 00:16:51 | ♪♪ they really are a scre-am ♪♪
|
| 00:16:53 | ♪♪ the addams family ♪♪
|
| 00:16:56 | neat.
|
| 00:16:57 | Sweet.
|
| 00:17:01 | Petite.
|
| 00:17:02 | ♪♪ So get a witch's shawl on ♪♪
|
| 00:17:04 | ♪♪ a broomstick you can crawl on ♪♪
|
| 00:17:06 | ♪♪ we're gonna pay a call on ♪♪
|
| 00:17:08 | ♪♪ the addams family ♪♪
|
| 00:17:23 | I had no idea cousin bleak was such a difficult
subject.
|
| 00:17:26 | You're painting him from memory,
and it's a malikeness.
|
| 00:17:31 | Superb!
|
| 00:17:32 | Thank you, darling.
|
| 00:17:33 | There's something about the eyes.
|
| 00:17:35 | I just can't seem to get them.
|
| 00:17:37 | That lid droops just a bit too much.
|
| 00:17:40 | The right eye or the left?
|
| 00:17:41 | The middle one.
|
| 00:17:46 | Perfect!
|
| 00:17:47 | 'S the look that used to get the girls.
|
| 00:17:50 | [ Growls ]
..
|
| 00:17:53 | The children are going to be late for their
birthday party.
|
| 00:17:56 | Would you ring for lurch?
|
| 00:18:00 | [ Gong clangs ]
you rang?
|
| 00:18:04 | Yes, lurch.
|
| 00:18:05 | Would you gete children, please?
|
| 00:18:08 | [ Smooching ]
we're coming! we're coming!
|
| 00:18:14 | Oh, what's that, darling?
|
| 00:18:16 | Harold's birthday present -- a tarantula.
|
| 00:18:20 | Oh, dear pugsley -- he's so generous.
|
| 00:18:21 | That old addams tradition -- a heart of gold.
|
| 00:18:24 | Have it gift wrapped.
|
| 00:18:26 | ..
|
| 00:18:27 | Birthday present, festive occasion.
|
| 00:18:30 | I think black would be appropriate.
|
| 00:18:33 | Black it is, my dear.
|
| 00:18:35 | Here, darling, let me do that.
|
| 00:18:38 | You're all thumbs.
|
| 00:18:39 | Wouldn't that be interesting?
|
| 00:18:43 | Lurch, please take the children to the car.
|
| 00:18:46 | Lurch: Yes, madam.
|
| 00:18:47 | Where are they going?
|
| 00:18:49 | Whee!
|
| 00:18:51 | The pomeroy boy's birthday party.
|
| 00:18:53 | You mean those people with the white picket
fence
and the pink geraniums?
|
| 00:18:57 | How could you?
|
| 00:18:58 | There's something to what he says, morticia.
|
| 00:19:00 | They are peculiar.
|
| 00:19:02 | I'll bet they've got daisies in their backyard.
|
| 00:19:05 | Please, don't make me ill.
|
| 00:19:07 | Now, now, now.
|
| 00:19:07 | We must be tolerant of our neighbors.
|
| 00:19:10 | Tsk, oh!
|
| 00:19:12 | Oh, thank you, thing.
|
| 00:19:20 | There you are, pugsley.
|
| 00:19:22 | Your mother is still the world's best tarantula
wrapper.
|
| 00:19:25 | Now, remember, children,
not every family is as fortunate as we are.
|
| 00:19:28 | Not everyone has a beautiful old house like
ours
and a car with all the right sounds and smells.
|
| 00:19:35 | You must be modest about our advantages.
|
| 00:19:38 | We'll be good.
|
| 00:19:39 | I know you will, darling.
|
| 00:19:40 | I'm sure harold will love his present.
|
| 00:19:50 | [ Horn honks ]
[ explosion ]
I swear, these fish seem to know when you're
going to feed them.
|
| 00:20:00 | They're a lot more aware
than people give them credit for being.
|
| 00:20:04 | That's breeding.
|
| 00:20:14 | There's no waste with piranha.
|
| 00:20:20 | Why are you home from the party so early?
|
| 00:20:22 | What happened? was there trouble?
|
| 00:20:25 | A small altercation.
|
| 00:20:28 | Harold pomeroy said his family was better
than our family.
|
| 00:20:32 | Hewe were a bunch of kooks.
|
| 00:20:36 | !
|
| 00:20:37 | [ Groans ]
oh, he couldn't have meant it.
|
| 00:20:40 | How could a child fail to recognize character
when he sees it?
|
| 00:20:44 | I told you the pomeroys were no good!
|
| 00:20:46 | Their neat little petunia patches.
|
| 00:20:48 | they're nothing but
riffraff!
|
| 00:20:51 | Lurch, you better take the children to their
rooms.
|
| 00:20:55 | Lurch: Yes, madam.
|
| 00:20:55 | I always did suspect those white plaster
ducks
out on the lawn.
|
| 00:20:59 | Darling, some people have a twisted sense
of beauty.
|
| 00:21:03 | Rude behavior like that begins with the parents.
|
| 00:21:06 | What are you gonna do about it, just stand
there and take it?
|
| 00:21:09 | Certainly not.
|
| 00:21:10 | I'm going to send pomeroy an insulting letter.
|
| 00:21:15 | Darling, I don't think we should lend our
name to such a thing.
|
| 00:21:19 | "
"
that would be novel.
|
| 00:21:25 | I think we should turn the other cheek.
|
| 00:21:27 | when people insulted me, I always turned
the other cheek.
|
| 00:21:31 | Well? I ran out of cheeks.
|
| 00:21:33 | No, there's only one way to settle this!
|
| 00:21:36 | Uncle fester!
|
| 00:21:38 | Uncle fester, please, not that.
|
| 00:21:42 | But, morticia, the family honor!
|
| 00:21:43 | He's right, morticia. the family honor!
|
| 00:21:46 | You'll have to challenge pomeroy to a duel.
|
| 00:21:48 | No, I'd rather shoot him in the back.
|
| 00:21:50 | Uncle fester, that is not the honorable way.
|
| 00:21:53 | I know, but it's the safe way.
|
| 00:21:55 | Uncle fester, I'm ashamed of you.
|
| 00:21:57 | An addams doesn't know the meaning of the
word fear.
|
| 00:22:00 | I do. I'll shoot him in the back.
|
| 00:22:02 | Uncle fester, remember the addams name.
|
| 00:22:05 | It'll have to be a duel.
|
| 00:22:07 | With swords?
|
| 00:22:09 | With victory going to the swiftest,
the cunningest, the deadliest.
|
| 00:22:13 | I'll shoot him in the back.
|
| 00:22:15 | Wait, how about pistols?
|
| 00:22:17 | Well, that's different.
|
| 00:22:19 | Does he get one, too?
|
| 00:22:21 | Naturally.
|
| 00:22:23 | Loaded?
|
| 00:22:24 | You get one bullet apiece.
|
| 00:22:26 | In the back!
|
| 00:22:28 | [ Brakes squeak ]
we have visitors.
|
| 00:22:31 | It's mr. pomeroy.
|
| 00:22:32 | Little harold is with him.
|
| 00:22:33 | See? they've come to make peace.
|
| 00:22:36 | I hope not!
|
| 00:22:40 | I'll handle this.
|
| 00:22:40 | Remember, you took care of the gas inspector.
|
| 00:22:43 | Darling, why don't we handle this together?
|
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| 00:25:29 | [ Clank ]
a pomeroy does not slam gates.
|
| 00:25:32 | I didn't slam it, dad.
|
| 00:25:33 | A pomeroy does not lie, either.
|
| 00:25:36 | .. come along.
|
| 00:25:41 | I'm cecil b. pomeroy.
|
| 00:25:42 | Perhaps you've heard of me.
|
| 00:25:44 | I'm in oil.
|
| 00:25:45 | Oh, boiling?
|
| 00:25:47 | Lubricating.
|
| 00:25:49 | I wouldn't make light of this.
|
| 00:25:51 | Look at my son, harold.
|
| 00:25:53 | Fine-looking boy.
|
| 00:25:55 | Nice eyes.
|
| 00:25:56 | Well, one of them, anyway.
|
| 00:25:57 | That's what your hoodlum offspring did with
his fists.
|
| 00:26:01 | Our son used his fists?
|
| 00:26:03 | All those karate lessons -- wasted.
|
| 00:26:06 | I'll thank you both to stop joking.
|
| 00:26:08 | My son has been sorely wounded, and I demand
an apology.
|
| 00:26:11 | if it'll make you
happy.
|
| 00:26:14 | I apologize.
|
| 00:26:15 | Not from you.
|
| 00:26:16 | From that pugnacious child of yours.
|
| 00:26:19 | Him!
|
| 00:26:20 | Children.
|
| 00:26:22 | I understand, pugsley,
that you and harold engaged in a little tiff
this afternoon.
|
| 00:26:26 | All I did was tear his jacket a little.
|
| 00:26:28 | You tore my family crest!
|
| 00:26:29 | Well, you wouldn't have got a sock in the
eye
if you hadn't said your family was better
than our family.
|
| 00:26:35 | Our familyisbetter.
|
| 00:26:36 | It is not.
|
| 00:26:37 | Children, children.
|
| 00:26:38 | I think you ought to apologize to harold.
|
| 00:26:41 | I'm sorry I punched you in the eye, harold.
|
